{"id":883,"date":"2026-03-16T13:38:32","date_gmt":"2026-03-16T13:38:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/?page_id=883"},"modified":"2026-04-02T07:01:45","modified_gmt":"2026-04-02T07:01:45","slug":"stjornukort-fyrir-stelpuna","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/?page_id=883","title":{"rendered":"Stj\u00f6rnukort fyrir stelpuna"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

El\u00edsa J\u00f3hannsd\u00f3ttir<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u00f0 fyrstu s\u00fdn leit h\u00fan \u00fat eins og raunverulegt barn, liggjandi \u00ed barnakerru me\u00f0 hekla\u00f0 teppi yfir s\u00e9r, d\u00fa\u00f0u\u00f0 \u00ed rau\u00f0an kuldagalla me\u00f0 lj\u00f3sbleika h\u00fafu og vettlinga. Textinn vi\u00f0 augl\u00fdsinguna t\u00f3k \u00fe\u00f3 af allan vafa, konan sem setti myndina inn var a\u00f0 \u00f3ska eftir barnaf\u00f6tum \u00e1 elsku litlu reborn d\u00fakkustelpuna s\u00edna. \u00c9g grandsko\u00f0a\u00f0i myndina \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g v\u00e6ri \u00ed vinnunni og \u00e6tti ekki a\u00f0 vera a\u00f0 leita a\u00f0 kuldagalla handa eldri syni m\u00ednum \u00e1 vinnut\u00edma. \u00dea\u00f0 voru til d\u00fakkur \u00e1 heimilinu, \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g haf\u00f0i gefi\u00f0 sonum m\u00ednum d\u00fakkur. M\u00e9r fannst mikilv\u00e6gt a\u00f0 str\u00e1karnir m\u00ednir hef\u00f0u leyfi til a\u00f0 vera mj\u00fakir, leika me\u00f0 d\u00fakkur, kl\u00e6\u00f0a sig \u00ed pils e\u00f0a prinsessukj\u00f3la og setja \u00e1 sig k\u00f3r\u00f3nur. \u00deeir l\u00e9ku s\u00e9r hinsvegar l\u00edti\u00f0 me\u00f0 d\u00fakkurnar og h\u00f6f\u00f0u b\u00e1\u00f0ir misst \u00e1hugann viku eftir a\u00f0 \u00feeir fengu \u00fe\u00e6r. \u00dea\u00f0 voru l\u00edka venjulegar d\u00fakkur \u00far leikfangab\u00fa\u00f0, ekkert l\u00edkar \u00feessum reborn d\u00fakkum. Eitthva\u00f0 ger\u00f0i a\u00f0 verkum a\u00f0 sko\u00f0a\u00f0i myndina aftur um kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0 og flj\u00f3tlega var \u00e9g komin \u00e1 reborn-s\u00ed\u00f0ur og farin a\u00f0 sko\u00f0a \u00fe\u00e6r n\u00e6stum daglega. \u00c9g sag\u00f0i vi\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfa mig a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri bara a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 dreifa huganum, reyna a\u00f0 hugsa um eitthva\u00f0 anna\u00f0 en hvort \u00e9g \u00e6tti a\u00f0 skilja vi\u00f0 Val.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c1 \u00feessum t\u00edma kom s\u00e1 yngsti undir, alveg \u00f3v\u00e6nt. \u00c9g var hvorki l\u00edkamlega n\u00e9 andlega tilb\u00fain. Vi\u00f0ar Karl, s\u00e1 elsti, var or\u00f0inn fj\u00f6gurra \u00e1ra, Stef\u00e1n var t\u00e6plega tveggja og \u00e9g var r\u00e9tt farin a\u00f0 kannast vi\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfa mig aftur. Orkan m\u00edn var a\u00f0 aukast svo \u00e9g var\u00f0 \u00f6skurei\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00e9g s\u00e1 tv\u00f6 strik \u00ed glugganum \u00e1 \u00f3l\u00e9ttupr\u00f3finu. Einhvern veginn fannst m\u00e9r Valur eiga s\u00f6k \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hvernig fyrir m\u00e9r var komi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g seg\u00f0i ekkert, enda var hann spenntur fyrir \u00feri\u00f0ja barninu. Hann haf\u00f0i l\u00edka sloppi\u00f0 vel \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00e9g sat uppi me\u00f0 stanslausar svefntruflanir og \u00f3se\u00f0jandi \u00fe\u00f6rf str\u00e1kanna fyrir mig og bara mig. A\u00f0 vera eftirs\u00f3ttasta manneskjan \u00e1 heimilinu vakti me\u00f0 m\u00e9r svo mikla innilokunarkennd a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00fdtti Val \u00f3sj\u00e1lfr\u00e1tt fr\u00e1 m\u00e9r. M\u00e9r fannst hann gagnslaus og upp\u00e1\u00ferengjandi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deegar \u00e9g var\u00f0 \u00f3l\u00e9tt \u00ed fyrsta skipti, a\u00f0 Vi\u00f0ari Karli, l\u00e1 \u00e9g \u00e1 b\u00e6n fyrstu m\u00e1nu\u00f0ina. Ekki stelpa, pl\u00eds ekki stelpa. \u00c9g ba\u00f0 \u00f3f\u00e6dda barni\u00f0 afs\u00f6kunar jafn\u00f3\u00f0um og lofa\u00f0i a\u00f0 elska \u00fea\u00f0 sama hva\u00f0. \u00c9g \u00f3ska\u00f0i \u00feess a\u00f0 Valur v\u00e6ri einn af \u00feeim sem g\u00e6ti bara b\u00fai\u00f0 til str\u00e1ka \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g vissi a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri l\u00edffr\u00e6\u00f0ilega \u00f3m\u00f6gulegt. \u00c9g gat ekki \u00fatsk\u00fdrt almennilega af hverju \u00e9g vildi ekki stelpu, allt \u00ed m\u00e9r sag\u00f0i bara nei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g sag\u00f0i vinkonum m\u00ednum a\u00f0 \u00e9g vona\u00f0ist til a\u00f0 eignast str\u00e1k en b\u00e6tti \u00fev\u00ed vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00e9g myndi au\u00f0vita\u00f0 elska litla stelpu jafn miki\u00f0 og a\u00f0 kyni\u00f0 skipti \u00ed raun ekki m\u00e1li. \u00c9g m\u00e6tti meiri skilningi en \u00e9g bj\u00f3st vi\u00f0, \u00fev\u00ed tv\u00e6r \u00far h\u00f3pnum voru b\u00fanar a\u00f0 eignast b\u00f6rn og \u00e1ttu b\u00e1\u00f0ar stelpur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gu\u00f0 minn g\u00f3\u00f0ur, \u00f3ttinn um allt sem g\u00e6ti gerst er svo miklu meiri, s\u00f6g\u00f0u \u00fe\u00e6r \u00f3\u00f0am\u00e1la hvor ofan \u00ed a\u00f0ra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g t\u00f3k hjartanlega undir me\u00f0 \u00feeim \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g efa\u00f0ist um a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0an fyrir kv\u00ed\u00f0ahn\u00fatnum sem \u00e9g f\u00e9kk \u00ed magann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Valur var\u00f0 aldrei var vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 hugsa neitt \u00ed \u00feessum d\u00far. Hann p\u00e6ldi l\u00edti\u00f0 \u00ed barninu fyrr en lei\u00f0 \u00e1 me\u00f0g\u00f6nguna og \u00fe\u00e1 var\u00f0 hann upptekinn af stj\u00f6rnumerkinu sem \u00fea\u00f0 yr\u00f0i \u00ed. \u00deremur vikum eftir f\u00e6\u00f0inguna \u00fatbj\u00f3 hann stj\u00f6rnukort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deetta er svo rosalega g\u00f3\u00f0ur vegv\u00edsir a\u00f0 pers\u00f3nuleikanum, sag\u00f0i hann vi\u00f0 mig \u00feegar hann kom heim \u00far vinnunni me\u00f0 korti\u00f0 hans Vi\u00f0ars Karls \u00fatprenta\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g sat l\u00edmd vi\u00f0 eitt horni\u00f0 \u00e1 s\u00f3fanum me\u00f0 Vi\u00f0ar \u00e1 brj\u00f3sti. M\u00e9r lei\u00f0 eins og n\u00ed\u00f0\u00feungri mj\u00f3lkurk\u00fa, eins og \u00f6ll orka f\u00e6ri \u00ed a\u00f0 framlei\u00f0a mj\u00f3lk og stara \u00e1 barni\u00f0. L\u00edkami minn var m\u00e9r jafn \u00f3kunnugur og \u00e1 me\u00f0g\u00f6ngunni, allur mj\u00fakur \u00fear sem hann haf\u00f0i \u00e1\u00f0ur veri\u00f0 stinnur, og \u00e9g var me\u00f0 verki \u00ed her\u00f0um, mj\u00f3baki og mj\u00f6\u00f0mum sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i aldrei fundi\u00f0 fyrir \u00e1\u00f0ur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u00e1 \u00e6\u00f0islegt, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g. Vi\u00f0 h\u00f6fum samt ekkert vi\u00f0 \u00feetta a\u00f0 gera fyrr en hann eldist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u00f0 getum undirb\u00fai\u00f0 okkur fyrir \u00fea\u00f0, sag\u00f0i Valur og veifa\u00f0i bl\u00f6\u00f0unum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Svo lag\u00f0i hann \u00feau \u00e1 s\u00f3fann vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0 m\u00e9r og f\u00f3r a\u00f0 ganga fr\u00e1 upp \u00far innkaupapokunum. \u00c9g fletti ekki einu sinni bl\u00f6\u00f0unum, \u00e9g kunni ekkert a\u00f0 lesa \u00ed \u00feetta \u00fe\u00f3tt Valur hef\u00f0i \u00fatsk\u00fdrt einhver atri\u00f0i fyrir m\u00e9r. Hringlaga uppdr\u00e1tturinn me\u00f0 strikunum, merkjunum og gr\u00e1\u00f0unum \u00fat um allt minnti mig bara \u00e1 e\u00f0lisfr\u00e6\u00f0i. Hann kalla\u00f0i fram \u00far eldh\u00fasinu a\u00f0 hann myndi a\u00f0 byrja a\u00f0 lesa \u00far \u00feessu me\u00f0 a\u00f0sto\u00f0 handb\u00f3karinnar eftir kv\u00f6ldmat og senda m\u00e9r svo ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0urnar \u00ed t\u00f6lvup\u00f3sti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Magakveisan h\u00f3fst daginn sem Valur byrja\u00f0i aftur a\u00f0 vinna. Vi\u00f0ar gr\u00e9t og \u00f6skra\u00f0i til skiptis \u00ed t\u00e6plega \u00ferj\u00e1 m\u00e1nu\u00f0i. Hann \u00feag\u00f0i a\u00f0eins me\u00f0 brj\u00f3sti\u00f0 uppi \u00ed s\u00e9r og \u00fe\u00e1 var \u00e9g \u00ed s\u00edmanum. \u00c9g leita\u00f0i endalaust lausna vi\u00f0 kveisunni og svo l\u00edka h\u00e6g\u00f0atreg\u00f0u, ni\u00f0urgangi, b\u00f3lum, \u00fatbrotum, sk\u00e1n \u00ed h\u00e1rsver\u00f0i og \u00fdmsu fleiru. Valur f\u00f3r \u00ed vinnuna, las \u00ed stj\u00f6rnukorti\u00f0, elda\u00f0i mat, f\u00f3r \u00ed bakar\u00ed og bau\u00f0 f\u00f3lki \u00ed heims\u00f3kn. \u00c1 \u00feessum t\u00edma bjuggum vi\u00f0 \u00ed agnarl\u00edtilli st\u00fadenta\u00edb\u00fa\u00f0 og h\u00fan var undirl\u00f6g\u00f0 af ungbarnad\u00f3ti. \u00d6mmust\u00f3ll, b\u00edlst\u00f3ll og vagn st\u00f3\u00f0u inni \u00e1 g\u00f3lfi, risast\u00f3r brj\u00f3stagjafap\u00fa\u00f0i var alltaf \u00ed s\u00f3fanum \u00e1samt bleyjukl\u00fatum, blett\u00f3ttum af mj\u00f3lkurgubbi og ungbarnak\u00fak. Pelar, snu\u00f0 og mj\u00f3lkunargr\u00e6jur n\u00fdkomnar \u00far su\u00f0u l\u00e1gu i\u00f0ulega til \u00feerris \u00e1 viskustykki \u00ed eldh\u00fasinu sem var \u00ed raun bara innr\u00e9tting \u00e1 einum vegg \u00ed stofunni. Ilmurinn af m\u00e9r og brj\u00f3stamj\u00f3lkinni var yfir \u00f6llu. Fyrstu vikurnar eftir f\u00e6\u00f0inguna kom ekki einu sinni svitalykt af m\u00e9r og m\u00e9r fannst Valur l\u00edka ilma eins og hann n\u00e6r\u00f0ist \u00e1 mj\u00f3lkinni \u00far m\u00e9r. Hann var fullkomlega samdauna \u00feessu og fannst alger \u00f3\u00fearfi a\u00f0 ry\u00f0ja stofuna og lofta \u00fat \u00e1\u00f0ur en einhver kom \u00ed heims\u00f3kn. \u00c9g t\u00f3k \u00fat fyrir a\u00f0 f\u00e1 gesti inn \u00e1 mig og inn \u00ed \u00feetta \u00e1stand, en \u00e9g haf\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 ekki \u00ed m\u00e9r a\u00f0 neita Val um \u00fea\u00f0. Hann virtist ekki taka eftir neinu og var svo gla\u00f0ur og stoltur a\u00f0 \u00e9g kreisti bara fram enn eitt brosi\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00der\u00e1in eftir einveru rak mig \u00fat \u00ed g\u00f6ngut\u00far einn sunnudaginn. Vi\u00f0ar Karl var enn sofandi \u00feegar \u00e9g kom aftur heim og Valur s\u00e1 l\u00edklega hva\u00f0 \u00e9g var dauf \u00feegar \u00e9g kom inn \u00fev\u00ed hann fa\u00f0ma\u00f0i mig \u00fe\u00e9tt a\u00f0 s\u00e9r. \u00de\u00e1 fann \u00e9g \u00f3v\u00e6nt af honum gamalkunnan ilm og \u00f6funda\u00f0i hann svo miki\u00f0 af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vera hann a\u00f0 \u00e9g f\u00f3r a\u00f0 gr\u00e1ta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c1 milli okkar Vals hefur r\u00edkt fullkomi\u00f0 traust alveg fr\u00e1 byrjun sambandsins. Reyndar var \u00fea\u00f0 fyrsta hugsun m\u00edn \u00feegar \u00e9g s\u00e1 hann \u00ed part\u00fdi hj\u00e1 vinkonu minni, a\u00f0 \u00feessi v\u00e6ri hei\u00f0arlegur. Hann st\u00f3\u00f0 \u00ed st\u00f3rum str\u00e1kah\u00f3pi inni \u00ed eldh\u00fasi me\u00f0 bj\u00f3rfl\u00f6sku \u00ed h\u00f6nd. Birtan f\u00e9ll \u00feannig \u00e1 andliti\u00f0 a\u00f0 hann virtist berskjalda\u00f0ur \u00fear sem hann brosti skept\u00edskur \u00fat \u00ed anna\u00f0 \u00ed hring af str\u00e1kum sem reittu af s\u00e9r brandara og hl\u00f3gu \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gilega, \u00fear til hann virtist skyndilega f\u00e1 n\u00f3g. Hann hristi h\u00f6fu\u00f0i\u00f0, smeyg\u00f0i s\u00e9r inn \u00ed hringinn og gekk \u00fevert \u00ed gegnum hann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hey, ekki svona vi\u00f0kv\u00e6mur, kalla\u00f0i einn \u00e1 eftir honum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann leit ekki einu sinni vi\u00f0 og virka\u00f0i svo sj\u00e1lfs\u00f6ruggur. Hann var minni en hinir str\u00e1karnir, l\u00e1gvaxinn en samt ekki l\u00edtill. \u00deegar hann kom \u00fat \u00far hringnum stefndi hann \u00f3vart beint \u00e1 mig og uppg\u00f6tva\u00f0i um lei\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00e9g haf\u00f0i veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 horfa \u00e1 hann. \u00de\u00e1 fyrst var\u00f0 nektin \u00ed augunum algj\u00f6r. \u00c9g vissi strax a\u00f0 eitthva\u00f0 g\u00e6ti or\u00f0i\u00f0. Kannski s\u00e1 hann \u00fea\u00f0 sama \u00ed augunum \u00e1 m\u00e9r. A\u00f0 minnsta kosti hika\u00f0i hann ekki \u00feegar hann sveif \u00e1 mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c6fir \u00fe\u00fa kannski f\u00f3tbolta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g hristi h\u00f6fu\u00f0i\u00f0 nei og reyndi a\u00f0 setja upp dularfullan svip. Vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0 m\u00e9r h\u00e9ldu vinkonur m\u00ednar \u00e1fram a\u00f0 tala um einkunnirnar sem \u00fe\u00e6r h\u00f6f\u00f0u fengi\u00f0 \u00far pr\u00f3funum en hann horf\u00f0i sallar\u00f3legur \u00e1 mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g \u00e6fi blak, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g eftir sm\u00e1stund \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g v\u00e6ri n\u00fdbyrju\u00f0 og bara b\u00fain a\u00f0 fara \u00e1 eina \u00e6fingu me\u00f0 vinkonu minni. \u00c9g var \u00e1 \u00f6\u00f0rum bj\u00f3r og or\u00f0in notalega sl\u00f6k \u00ed \u00f6llum l\u00edkamanum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g heiti Valur, en \u00e9g er krabbi, \u00fe\u00fa veist, sag\u00f0i hann og benti \u00e1 str\u00e1kah\u00f3pinn fyrir aftan sig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nei, \u00e9g veit ekki, svara\u00f0i \u00e9g og hl\u00f3. \u00c9g heiti Barbara, k\u00f6llu\u00f0 B\u00edb\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Komdu a\u00f0eins me\u00f0 m\u00e9r B\u00edb\u00ed, sag\u00f0i hann og r\u00e9tti fram h\u00f6ndina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann leiddi mig \u00e1 eftir s\u00e9r burt fr\u00e1 stelpunum, fram \u00ed litla stofu yfirfulla af f\u00f3lki og svo gengum vi\u00f0 um h\u00fasi\u00f0 sem var svo \u00fer\u00f6ngt a\u00f0 panelkl\u00e6ddir veggirnir virtust taka utan um okkur. \u00deetta var gamalt b\u00e1ruj\u00e1rnsh\u00fas sem ilma\u00f0i af vi\u00f0 og reykelsi en \u00e9g fann l\u00edka daufa raksp\u00edralykt \u00fear sem \u00e9g gekk \u00e1 eftir honum. \u00dea\u00f0 voru engin s\u00e6ti laus \u00ed stofunni svo hann leiddi mig fram \u00e1 gang a\u00f0 mj\u00f3um tr\u00e9stiga upp \u00e1 a\u00f0ra h\u00e6\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 braka\u00f0i \u00ed stiganum \u00feegar hann settist n\u00e6st veggnum og klappa\u00f0i \u00e1 tr\u00f6ppuna vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0 s\u00e9r. \u00dear kom \u00e9g m\u00e9r fyrir, \u00fe\u00e9tt upp vi\u00f0 hann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g er semsagt \u00ed krabbamerkinu. Krabbar eru mj\u00f6g miklir fj\u00f6lskyldumenn og systir m\u00edn er \u00ed f\u00f3tbolta, \u00feess vegna var\u00f0 \u00e9g svona pirra\u00f0ur \u00feegar str\u00e1karnir ger\u00f0u gr\u00edn a\u00f0 kvennaboltanum. Ekkert er kr\u00f6bbum mikilv\u00e6gara en fj\u00f6lskyldan \u2026 og svo eru \u00feeir d\u00e1l\u00edti\u00f0 au\u00f0s\u00e6r\u00f0ir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann horf\u00f0i beint \u00e1 mig og brosti breitt allan t\u00edmann sem hann tala\u00f0i. \u00c9g hl\u00f3 enn meir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Er systir \u00fe\u00edn \u00ed alv\u00f6runni \u00ed f\u00f3tbolta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan er \u00ed landsli\u00f0inu. Viltu vita meira um krabba?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g kinka\u00f0i kolli eins og d\u00e1leidd, \u00e9g sat svo n\u00e1l\u00e6gt honum a\u00f0 \u00e9g uppg\u00f6tva\u00f0i a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 var ekki h\u00fasi\u00f0 heldur hann sem ilma\u00f0i svona d\u00e1samlega af raksp\u00edra me\u00f0 brenndum vi\u00f0art\u00f3num. Hann f\u00f3r yfir helstu einkenni f\u00f3lks sem f\u00e6ddist \u00ed krabbamerkinu. Svo taldi hann upp algenga galla e\u00f0a tilhneigingar \u00ed fari krabba sem g\u00e1tu veri\u00f0 til vandr\u00e6\u00f0a og lag\u00f0i mat \u00e1 sj\u00e1lfan sig me\u00f0 stigagj\u00f6f sem m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00f3tti enn fyndnara. \u00c9g vissi ekki hvort hann var raunverulega fyndinn e\u00f0a hvort \u00e9g hl\u00f3 af einsk\u00e6rum taugatitringi. M\u00e9r fannst hann svo a\u00f0la\u00f0andi a\u00f0 mig langa\u00f0i a\u00f0 skr\u00ed\u00f0a upp \u00ed fangi\u00f0 \u00e1 honum, br\u00e1\u00f0na saman vi\u00f0 hann. \u00cd sta\u00f0inn lag\u00f0i \u00e9g h\u00f6ndina \u00e1 hn\u00e9\u00f0 \u00e1 honum, sag\u00f0ist skilja hann og horf\u00f0i \u00ed augun \u00e1 honum \u00fear til hann kyssti mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c1 \u00e9g ekki a\u00f0 gera stj\u00f6rnukort fyrir stelpuna einhvern t\u00edmann? spur\u00f0i hann feimnislega \u00ed lok kv\u00f6lds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nei takk, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g og hl\u00f3, en vi\u00f0 getum alveg hist aftur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann hefur alltaf haldi\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed fram a\u00f0 \u00feessi r\u00e6\u00f0a um krabba hafi sprotti\u00f0 \u00f3sj\u00e1lfr\u00e1tt upp \u00far honum. Hann hafi veri\u00f0 stressa\u00f0ur og vilja\u00f0 vera fullkomlega hreinskilinn um sj\u00e1lfan sig. \u00c9g hef enga \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u til a\u00f0 draga \u00fea\u00f0 \u00ed efa. Vi\u00f0 byrju\u00f0um saman eftir \u00feetta kv\u00f6ld, svo var\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00f3l\u00e9tt, svo giftum vi\u00f0 okkur og svo komu \u00fer\u00edr fullkomnir gullmolar \u00ed r\u00f6\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g reyndi a\u00f0 gera allt r\u00e9tt me\u00f0 str\u00e1kana m\u00edna. \u00c9g gekk \u00ed spjallh\u00f3pa \u00e1 Facebook me\u00f0 vi\u00f0eigandi \u00e1rganganafni, las b\u00e6kur um me\u00f0g\u00f6ngu og n\u00e6ringu \u00e1 me\u00f0g\u00f6ngu, skr\u00e1\u00f0i mig \u00ed me\u00f0g\u00f6nguj\u00f3ga, las f\u00e6\u00f0ingars\u00f6gur og l\u00e6r\u00f0i a\u00f0 anda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cd me\u00f0g\u00f6nguj\u00f3ganu heyr\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00ed fyrsta sinn um \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gilegar hugsanir sem leita \u00e1 sumar n\u00fdbaka\u00f0ar m\u00e6\u00f0ur. Hugsanir e\u00f0a \u00edmyndanir um a\u00f0 mei\u00f0a barni\u00f0, drekkja \u00fev\u00ed \u00ed ba\u00f0inu, henda \u00fev\u00ed \u00fat um glugga e\u00f0a bara missa \u00fea\u00f0 \u00ed g\u00f3lfi\u00f0. J\u00f3gakennarinn tala\u00f0i eins og \u00feetta v\u00e6ri ekki \u00f3algengt, \u00fea\u00f0 kom m\u00e9r \u00e1 \u00f3vart. \u00c9g vissi a\u00f0 \u00feetta myndi ekki koma fyrir mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g gekk um g\u00f3lf me\u00f0 syni m\u00edna \u00f6skrandi \u00e1 \u00f6xlinni t\u00edmunum saman \u00ed nokkrar vikur eftir f\u00e6\u00f0ingu hvers og eins. \u00c9g velti \u00fev\u00ed fyrir m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00e1 hvort hugsanirnar v\u00e6ru a\u00f0 koma, hvort \u00feetta v\u00e6ri ekki r\u00e9tta stundin fyrir \u00fe\u00e6r a\u00f0 ry\u00f0jast inn \u00ed hugann e\u00f0a hvort \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri \u00f6fugt, \u00fe\u00e6r leitu\u00f0u \u00e1 mann vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 barni\u00f0 r\u00f3legt. Sj\u00e1 litlu \u00f3sj\u00e1lfbjarga veruna sem vissi ekkert hva\u00f0 h\u00fan vildi anna\u00f0 en brj\u00f3st a\u00f0 sj\u00faga, hendur a\u00f0 sinna og augu a\u00f0 vi\u00f0urkenna tilvist s\u00edna dag og n\u00f3tt \u00fat \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 endalausa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g hef aldrei heyrt anna\u00f0 eins, sag\u00f0i mamma rei\u00f0ilega \u00feegar \u00e9g sag\u00f0i henni fr\u00e1 \u00feessu me\u00f0 hugsanirnar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan h\u00e9lt \u00e1 frumbur\u00f0i m\u00ednum \u00e1 \u00f6xlinni og gekk um g\u00f3lf me\u00f0 hann v\u00e6landi og \u00f6skrandi til skiptis eins og hann var \u00ed klukkut\u00edma e\u00f0a tvo eftir hverja gj\u00f6f yfir daginn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g l\u00e1 eins og slytti \u00e1 s\u00f3fanum og s\u00e1 eftir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hafa sagt j\u00e1 \u00feegar h\u00fan bau\u00f0st til a\u00f0 k\u00edkja vi\u00f0 og ganga um g\u00f3lf me\u00f0 Vi\u00f0ar. \u00deetta \u00e1tti a\u00f0 heita hv\u00edld fyrir mig en h\u00fan tala\u00f0i allt of h\u00e1tt yfir honum gr\u00e1tandi, r\u00f6dd hennar jafn skerandi og gr\u00e1turinn \u00ed h\u00f6f\u00f0inu \u00e1 m\u00e9r. Hann gr\u00e9t alltaf s\u00e1rar ef einhver annar en \u00e9g gekk um g\u00f3lf me\u00f0 hann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dea\u00f0 er allt \u00ed lagi a\u00f0 leggja barni\u00f0 fr\u00e1 s\u00e9r st\u00f6ku sinnum inni \u00ed herbergi og loka \u00ed fimm m\u00edn\u00fatur til a\u00f0 f\u00e1 sm\u00e1 hv\u00edld ef \u00fea\u00f0 gr\u00e6tur miki\u00f0. H\u00fan horf\u00f0i \u00e1 mig alvarleg. \u00dea\u00f0 ska\u00f0ar engan og einn daginn h\u00e6ttir hann a\u00f0 gr\u00e1ta og \u00fe\u00e1 er kveisan b\u00fain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g l\u00e1 \u00ed s\u00f3fanum me\u00f0 h\u00f6fu\u00f0i\u00f0 \u00e1 p\u00fa\u00f0a og kinka\u00f0i kolli, en lei\u00f0 eins og \u00e9g v\u00e6ri sv\u00edkja hann. \u00dea\u00f0 var ekki s\u00e9ns a\u00f0 \u00e9g g\u00e6ti sofna\u00f0 inni \u00ed herbergi hlustandi \u00e1 \u00feetta, og ef \u00e9g sofna\u00f0i \u00fe\u00e1 myndi \u00e9g bara hr\u00f6kkva upp vi\u00f0 skyndilega \u00fe\u00f6gnina ef hann sofna\u00f0i l\u00edka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan h\u00e9lt \u00e1fram: \u00c9g vona a\u00f0 lj\u00f3sm\u00f3\u00f0irin sem kemur heim til \u00fe\u00edn s\u00e9 ekki a\u00f0 rugla \u00feig \u00ed r\u00edminu me\u00f0 einhverri \u00fev\u00e6lu, \u00fea\u00f0 eru alltaf einhverjar bylgjur \u00ed gangi og allar reglur um um\u00f6nnun ungbarna breytast reglulega. \u00de\u00fa manst a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa veist best \u00feegar kemur a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00ednu barni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g veit ekki neitt, hugsa\u00f0i \u00e9g, \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g var svo \u00fereytt a\u00f0 m\u00e9r lei\u00f0 eins og \u00e9g v\u00e6ri alltaf \u00e1 kafi, \u00f6ll hlj\u00f3\u00f0 og skynjun afskr\u00e6md svo heilinn var h\u00e6ttur a\u00f0 skilja, h\u00e6ttur a\u00f0 breg\u00f0ast e\u00f0lilega vi\u00f0. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i hellt s\u00farri mj\u00f3lk \u00ed kaffi\u00f0 mitt um morguninn og veri\u00f0 b\u00fain me\u00f0 st\u00f3ran bolla \u00feegar Valur f\u00e9kk s\u00e9r kaffi og uppg\u00f6tva\u00f0i a\u00f0 mj\u00f3lkin var s\u00far. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i hvorki teki\u00f0 eftir brag\u00f0inu n\u00e9 kekkjunum \u00e1 tungunni fyrr en hann sag\u00f0i \u00feetta. Hann haf\u00f0i hlegi\u00f0 a\u00f0 m\u00e9r og l\u00edklega hef\u00f0i \u00e9g hlegi\u00f0 me\u00f0 ef mig hef\u00f0i ekki langa\u00f0 til a\u00f0 kyrkja hann frekar. Hann slapp \u00f3tr\u00falega vel \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00e9g var alltaf \u00f3sofin og b\u00fain a\u00f0 missa vonina um a\u00f0 f\u00e1 einhvern t\u00edmann heilan n\u00e6tursvefn n\u00e6stu m\u00e1nu\u00f0i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lj\u00f3sm\u00f3\u00f0irin sem kemur er yndisleg, hr\u00f6kk upp \u00far m\u00e9r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mamma hl\u00f3 og \u00fea\u00f0 kom upp \u00ed m\u00e9r \u00f3v\u00e6nt l\u00f6ngun til a\u00f0 sl\u00e1 hana. H\u00fan hl\u00f3 svo kalt me\u00f0 Vi\u00f0ar gr\u00e1tandi \u00e1 \u00f6xlinni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u00e1rin \u00e1 geirv\u00f6rtunum \u00e1 m\u00e9r voru gr\u00f3in og \u00fea\u00f0 var engri annarri en lj\u00f3sm\u00f3\u00f0urinni a\u00f0 \u00feakka. H\u00fan haf\u00f0i sest hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r \u00ed s\u00f3fann, teki\u00f0 um brj\u00f3sti\u00f0 \u00e1 m\u00e9r til a\u00f0 s\u00fdna m\u00e9r hvernig gripi\u00f0 um geirv\u00f6rtuna \u00e1tti a\u00f0 vera og tro\u00f0i\u00f0 geirv\u00f6rtunni upp \u00ed Vi\u00f0ar. Svo haf\u00f0i h\u00fan kippt henni \u00fat og tro\u00f0i\u00f0 upp \u00ed hann \u00e1 n\u00fd og l\u00e1ti\u00f0 mig herma eftir s\u00e9r \u00fear til \u00e9g n\u00e1\u00f0i \u00feessu. \u00cd n\u00e6stu heims\u00f3kn haf\u00f0i h\u00fan kennt m\u00e9r a\u00f0 gefa Vi\u00f0ari liggjandi, svo n\u00e6turnar yr\u00f0u \u00fe\u00e6gilegri fyrir mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Og h\u00fan segir \u00fea\u00f0 sama og \u00fe\u00fa um \u00feetta allt, b\u00e6tti \u00e9g vi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri ekki alveg satt. \u00de\u00e6r mamma \u00e1ttu \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0allega sameiginlegt a\u00f0 hafa b\u00e1\u00f0ar sagt a\u00f0 magakveisan gengi yfir. \u00c9g vildi bara a\u00f0 mamma h\u00e6tti a\u00f0 tala, sem var \u00f3sanngjarnt gagnvart henni \u00fev\u00ed h\u00fan var a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 vera hj\u00e1lpleg. Samt st\u00f3\u00f0 \u00e9g upp, gekk til hennar og t\u00f3k Vi\u00f0ar af henni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Takk fyrir komuna mamma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u00f0ar r\u00f3a\u00f0ist a\u00f0eins \u00ed fanginu \u00e1 m\u00e9r og f\u00f3r a\u00f0 v\u00e6la l\u00e1gt og nudda h\u00f6f\u00f0inu vi\u00f0 brj\u00f3sti\u00f0 \u00e1 m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00f3tt hann v\u00e6ri n\u00fdb\u00fainn a\u00f0 drekka. \u00deetta er bara t\u00edmabil, hugsa\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00ed \u00fe\u00fasundasta skipti\u00f0, setti hann \u00e1 \u00f6xlina og strauk yfir baki\u00f0 \u00e1 honum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c1 \u00e9g a\u00f0 fara? \u00c9g var a\u00f0 koma og er ekki einu sinni b\u00fain a\u00f0 f\u00e1 kaffi, sag\u00f0i mamma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u00e1 mamma, \u00feetta var vond hugmynd. \u00c9g get ekki sofna\u00f0 \u00e1 me\u00f0an hann gr\u00e6tur svona. \u00c9g legg mig bara me\u00f0 honum \u00e1 eftir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan vissi vel a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g leg\u00f0i mig me\u00f0 honum hrykki \u00e9g upp vi\u00f0 hvert einasta hlj\u00f3\u00f0 sem fr\u00e1 honum kom og hv\u00edldist ekki neitt. H\u00fan ger\u00f0i samt eins og \u00e9g ba\u00f0 um og f\u00f3r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u00f0 mamma vorum alltaf tv\u00e6r, skytturnar tv\u00e6r. Bestu vinkonur \u00ed \u00f6llum geiminum sag\u00f0i h\u00fan oft \u00feegar \u00e9g var l\u00edtil. Hvorug okkar leit \u00e1 k\u00e6rastana hennar sem hluta af fj\u00f6lskyldunni \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00feeir hafi flestir b\u00fai\u00f0 hj\u00e1 okkur. Fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g var t\u00e6plega eins \u00e1rs og til tv\u00edtugs \u00e1tti h\u00fan fimm k\u00e6rasta alls. Pabbi minn var aldrei inni \u00ed myndinni, nema sem skr\u00fdtin n\u00e6rvera \u00e1 mynd innan um a\u00f0rar myndir af fj\u00f6lskyldume\u00f0limum \u00e1 skenk \u00ed stofunni. Hann haf\u00f0i farist r\u00e9tt eftir a\u00f0 \u00e9g f\u00e6ddist. Farist. \u00dea\u00f0 var or\u00f0i\u00f0 sem mamma nota\u00f0i alltaf og sem barn n\u00e1\u00f0i \u00e9g aldrei almennilega utan um hva\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fdddi, a\u00f0eins a\u00f0 hann hef\u00f0i d\u00e1i\u00f0 \u00e1 einhvern virkilega sl\u00e6man h\u00e1tt sem h\u00fan vildi ekki r\u00e6\u00f0a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan er enn me\u00f0 s\u00ed\u00f0asta k\u00e6rastanum \u00ed r\u00f6\u00f0inni, Nonna, en \u00e9g rugla alltaf saman \u00feessum \u00feremur sem komu \u00e1 undan. M\u00e9r fannst \u00feeir aldrei koma m\u00e9r neitt vi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00feeir byggju hj\u00e1 okkur, enda skiptu \u00feeir s\u00e9r ekkert af m\u00e9r. Mamma \u00e1tti \u00fe\u00e1 ein \u00e1 sama h\u00e1tt og h\u00fan \u00e1tti b\u00edlinn sinn ein og h\u00fan \u00e1tti mig ein. Barbara er meira en n\u00f3g fyrir mig, sag\u00f0i h\u00fan stundum \u00feegar barneignir komu til tals \u00e1 \u00feessum \u00e1rum. \u00c9g hr\u00f3sa\u00f0i sigri \u00ed hvert sinn. \u00cd nokkur \u00e1r var m\u00edn versta martr\u00f6\u00f0 s\u00fa a\u00f0 mamma eigna\u00f0ist anna\u00f0 barn me\u00f0 einhverjum k\u00e6rastanum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Um daginn rakst \u00e9g \u00e1 einn \u00feessara \u00feriggja \u00fati \u00ed matv\u00f6rub\u00fa\u00f0, vi\u00f0 hillurnar me\u00f0 tei og kaffi. \u00c9g t\u00f3k reyndar ekki eftir honum fyrr en hann heilsa\u00f0i m\u00e9r, og \u00fe\u00e1 \u00feekkti \u00e9g hann ekki. Hann var or\u00f0inn gr\u00e1h\u00e6r\u00f0ur og gamall me\u00f0 \u00feykkar snj\u00f3hv\u00edtar augabr\u00fanir. \u00c9g h\u00e9lt a\u00f0 \u00feetta v\u00e6ri starfsma\u00f0ur \u00ed sundlauginni sem \u00e9g fer oft \u00ed me\u00f0 str\u00e1kana og a\u00f0 hann \u00e6tti eitthva\u00f0 erindi vi\u00f0 mig. \u00deegar hann byrja\u00f0i a\u00f0 spyrja hvar \u00e9g v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 vinna og hvort \u00e9g \u00e6tti b\u00f6rn kom l\u00edklega einhver svipur \u00e1 mig \u00fev\u00ed hann bei\u00f0 ekki eftir svari heldur spur\u00f0i hvernig mamma hef\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0. \u00de\u00e1 tengdi \u00e9g loksins, en samt ekki alveg. \u00c9g mundi ekki hvort hann var s\u00e1 sem bau\u00f0 okkur \u00ed sk\u00ed\u00f0afer\u00f0 \u00e1 l\u00faxush\u00f3tel \u00e1 \u00cdtal\u00edu, s\u00e1 sem vildi alltaf fara \u00ed fjallg\u00f6ngur um helgar e\u00f0a \u00feessi me\u00f0 frj\u00f3kornaofn\u00e6mi\u00f0 sem heimta\u00f0i samt a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 f\u00e6rum \u00ed \u00fatilegu eitt sumari\u00f0 og vi\u00f0 lentum \u00ed stanslausri rigningu allan t\u00edmann. M\u00e9r hefur alltaf fundist \u00feeir vera n\u00e1nast sami ma\u00f0urinn. \u00dea\u00f0 sem gerir illt verra er a\u00f0 \u00feeir h\u00e9tu svo svipu\u00f0um n\u00f6fnum, K\u00e1ri, Kjartan og Grj\u00f3ni, s\u00e1 s\u00ed\u00f0astnefndi h\u00e9t reyndar Sigurj\u00f3n en vi\u00f0 notu\u00f0um aldrei \u00fea\u00f0 nafn. Kannski man \u00e9g svona l\u00edti\u00f0 eftir \u00feeim af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feetta var \u00e1 unglings\u00e1runum. \u00c9g var t\u00edu til fimmt\u00e1n \u00e1ra og haf\u00f0i meiri \u00e1huga \u00e1 m\u00ednu eigin l\u00edfi og vinum en k\u00e6rustunum hennar m\u00f6mmu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g man \u00ed raun heldur ekki vel eftir Bjarti, \u00feeim fyrsta sem bj\u00f3 hj\u00e1 okkur, nema sem tilfinningu, hl\u00fdrri n\u00e6rveru og s\u00f6knu\u00f0i. \u00deau voru saman \u00ed \u00ferj\u00fa \u00e1r, en skildu r\u00e9tt fyrir fimm \u00e1ra afm\u00e6li\u00f0 mitt. \u00c9g man ekki eftir skilna\u00f0inum, n\u00e9 hven\u00e6r Bjartur flutti \u00fat. \u00c9g man bara eftir tilfinningunni \u00feegar \u00e9g opna\u00f0i pakkann fr\u00e1 honum \u00ed afm\u00e6linu og s\u00e1 bleika bangsann. \u00deetta var draumabangsinn minn en Bjartur var hvergi n\u00e6rri \u00feegar \u00e9g opna\u00f0i gj\u00f6fina, hann s\u00e1 mig ekki og \u00e9g sakna\u00f0i hans \u00f3skaplega. \u00c9g man ekkert eftir afm\u00e6linu sj\u00e1lfu, gestunum e\u00f0a hva\u00f0 \u00e9g f\u00e9kk fr\u00e1 m\u00f6mmu heldur a\u00f0eins \u00feessu augnabliki \u00fear sem \u00e9g sat \u00e1 g\u00f3lfinu me\u00f0 bangsann og hva\u00f0 \u00e9g kn\u00fasa\u00f0i hann ofbo\u00f0slega fast, en fannst \u00fea\u00f0 samt ekki n\u00f3g.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deessi bangsi var s\u00fa fyrsta \u00ed r\u00f6\u00f0 gjafa sem hann sendi m\u00e9r \u00e1 j\u00f3lum og afm\u00e6lum n\u00e6stu \u00ferett\u00e1n \u00e1rin. Lengi vel fur\u00f0a\u00f0i \u00e9g mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann skyldi aldrei koma \u00ed afm\u00e6li\u00f0 mitt n\u00e9 l\u00e1ta sj\u00e1 sig \u00e1 j\u00f3lunum, hann hringdi ekki einu sinni. Eftir ellefu \u00e1ra afm\u00e6li\u00f0 mitt spur\u00f0u tv\u00e6r bestu vinkonur m\u00ednar \u00fat \u00ed \u00feennan gaur sem gaf m\u00e9r svona f\u00ednar gjafir en var ekki einu sinni fr\u00e6ndi minn. \u00c9g sag\u00f0i \u00feeim hvernig \u00ed pottinn var b\u00fai\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u00e1, hva\u00f0 hann er klikka\u00f0ur, sag\u00f0i \u00f6nnur \u00feeirra. Pabbi minn hringir a\u00f0 minnsta kosti stundum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Upp fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed k\u00f6llu\u00f0um vi\u00f0 hann klikka\u00f0a k\u00e6rastann \u00feegar vi\u00f0 r\u00e6ddum hann og \u00fea\u00f0 festist vi\u00f0 hann \u00ed huga m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g r\u00e6ddi hann sjaldan vi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e6r. \u00deessar vinkonur \u00e1ttu b\u00e1\u00f0ar foreldra sem h\u00f6f\u00f0u skili\u00f0 og \u00fea\u00f0 var alltaf eitthva\u00f0 a\u00f0 koma upp \u00e1 \u00ed samskiptum vi\u00f0 foreldra \u00feeirra, en hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r var aldrei neitt n\u00fdtt a\u00f0 fr\u00e9tta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Innra me\u00f0 m\u00e9r \u00e1tti \u00e9g \u00ed stormas\u00f6mu sambandi vi\u00f0 Bjart. Kve\u00f0jurnar \u00e1 afm\u00e6lis- og j\u00f3lakortunum voru hl\u00fdjar og gjafirnar hugulsamar, alltaf \u00fea\u00f0 sem var \u00ed t\u00edsku hj\u00e1 stelpum \u00e1 m\u00ednum aldri og oft eitthva\u00f0 sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i \u00f3ska\u00f0 m\u00e9r. \u00c9g h\u00e9lt s\u00e9rstaklega upp \u00e1 \u00feessar gjafir en hata\u00f0i um lei\u00f0 tilfinningarnar sem \u00fe\u00e6r v\u00f6ktu. Um a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri b\u00e6\u00f0i s\u00e9rst\u00f6k \u00ed hans huga og einskis vir\u00f0i. \u00c9g var rei\u00f0 \u00fat \u00ed hann fyrir a\u00f0 senda gjafir en koma aldrei sj\u00e1lfur og \u00fe\u00e1 rann hann einhvern veginn saman vi\u00f0 l\u00e1tinn f\u00f6\u00f0ur minn og tilfinningarnar ur\u00f0u enn sterkari. Honum \u00fe\u00f3tti ekkert v\u00e6nt um mig, heldur einhverja fallegri og betri stelpu sem hann \u00edmynda\u00f0i s\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri. Stundum g\u00e6ldi \u00e9g vi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 hugmynd a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri raunverulegur fa\u00f0ir minn, mamma hef\u00f0i komi\u00f0 \u00ed veg fyrir samband okkar og v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 lj\u00faga a\u00f0 m\u00e9r um manninn \u00e1 gulnu\u00f0u myndinni \u00ed stofunni. \u00c9g fann aldrei neina tengingu vi\u00f0 \u00feann \u00e1 myndinni, sem hr\u00e6ddi mig. \u00c9g var svo t\u00f3m gagnvart honum a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 hlaut a\u00f0 vera eitthva\u00f0 a\u00f0 m\u00e9r. Sama hva\u00f0 \u00e9g star\u00f0i \u00e1 myndina og reyndi a\u00f0 kreista fram tilfinningar \u00fe\u00e1 kom ekki neitt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c1 t\u00edmabili horf\u00f0i \u00e9g miki\u00f0 \u00e1 fl\u00f3kna og dramat\u00edska sj\u00f3nvarps\u00fe\u00e6tti og s\u00e1pu\u00f3perur. \u00c6tli \u00fea\u00f0 hafi ekki veri\u00f0 upp \u00far \u00fev\u00ed sem \u00e9g f\u00e9kk \u00fe\u00e1 flugu \u00ed h\u00f6fu\u00f0i\u00f0 a\u00f0 klikka\u00f0i k\u00e6rastinn v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 fylgjast me\u00f0 m\u00e9r. M\u00e9r t\u00f3kst a\u00f0 sannf\u00e6ra sj\u00e1lfa mig um a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri \u00ed einhverjum sj\u00fakum leik me\u00f0 tilfinningar m\u00ednar og fylgdist me\u00f0 vi\u00f0br\u00f6g\u00f0um m\u00ednum \u00far fjarl\u00e6g\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 v\u00e6ru faldar myndav\u00e9lar \u00ed herberginu m\u00ednu, kannski \u00ed bleika bangsanum sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i sofi\u00f0 me\u00f0 \u00ed fanginu fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann gaf m\u00e9r hann \u00ed fimm \u00e1ra afm\u00e6lisgj\u00f6f. Einn sunnudag \u00ed desember missti \u00e9g mig gersamlega eftir a\u00f0 hafa grandsko\u00f0a\u00f0 bangsann \u00ed hundra\u00f0asta sinn \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 finna nokku\u00f0. \u00c9g spretti upp saumunum aftan \u00e1 h\u00f6f\u00f0inu \u00e1 honum, reif allt tr\u00f3\u00f0i\u00f0 \u00fat og sneri andlitinu \u00e1 r\u00f6nguna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Augun voru steypt hart plast sem innih\u00e9lt ekki myndav\u00e9lar. \u00dea\u00f0 var heldur engan v\u00e9lb\u00fana\u00f0 a\u00f0 finna \u00ed b\u00faknum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00de\u00f3tt \u00e9g v\u00e6ri or\u00f0in fimmt\u00e1n \u00e1ra h\u00e1gr\u00e9t \u00e9g \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00e9g tr\u00f3\u00f0 \u00f6llu inn \u00ed bangsann aftur og sauma\u00f0i saman hnakkann \u00e1 honum me\u00f0 n\u00e1l og tvinna. Bangsinn var\u00f0 aldrei samur. Andliti\u00f0 \u00e1 honum bar \u00fea\u00f0 me\u00f0 s\u00e9r a\u00f0 hafa veri\u00f0 mis\u00feyrmt og hnakkinn var alltaf \u00far lagi, sama hva\u00f0 \u00e9g reyndi a\u00f0 koma honum \u00ed samt horf.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dea\u00f0 var \u00e1 s\u00f6lus\u00ed\u00f0u fyrir barnaf\u00f6t \u00e1 Facebook sem \u00e9g s\u00e1 d\u00fakkuna \u00ed rau\u00f0a gallanum. \u00c1 annarri mynd sem konan birti var d\u00fakkan \u00ed hv\u00edtum bl\u00f3makj\u00f3l og me\u00f0 lj\u00f3st h\u00e1r \u00e1 kollinum. \u00dea\u00f0 helt\u00f3k mig einhver tilfinning sem \u00e9g veit ekki hvernig \u00e1 a\u00f0 l\u00fdsa en l\u00edktist helst \u00fer\u00e1, og \u00e1 sama t\u00edma einhverri undarlegri sk\u00f6mm. \u00cd kj\u00f6lfari\u00f0 uppg\u00f6tva\u00f0i \u00e9g heilan heim sem mig haf\u00f0i ekki gruna\u00f0 a\u00f0 v\u00e6ri til, allskonar d\u00fakkur \u00ed l\u00edki ungbarna af \u00f6llum kyn\u00fe\u00e1ttum og \u00e1 \u00f6llum aldri upp \u00ed \u00feriggja \u00e1ra. Sumar eins og umskiptingar en a\u00f0rar svo kr\u00fattlegar a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e6r minntu fremur \u00e1 engla en b\u00f6rn. \u00cd kj\u00f6lfari\u00f0 uppg\u00f6tva\u00f0i \u00e9g real-born d\u00fakkurnar, ger\u00f0ar \u00ed l\u00edki raunverulegra lifandi barna, og \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00fe\u00e6r v\u00e6ru kr\u00fattlegar fannst m\u00e9r eitthva\u00f0 \u00f3hugnanlegt vi\u00f0 \u00feetta. Samt gat \u00e9g ekki h\u00e6tt a\u00f0 sko\u00f0a og las \u00e1 heimas\u00ed\u00f0u framlei\u00f0andans um hvernig \u00fe\u00e6r hitnu\u00f0u \u00ed fangi og flj\u00f3tlega var \u00e9g farin a\u00f0 \u00edmynda m\u00e9r hvernig \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 halda \u00e1 fullkomlega hlj\u00f3\u00f0lausum og hl\u00fdjum kroppnum. \u00c1 sama t\u00edma ba\u00f0 \u00e9g og vona\u00f0i a\u00f0 barni\u00f0 sem \u00e9g gekk me\u00f0 v\u00e6ri drengur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g h\u00e6tti a\u00f0 sko\u00f0a d\u00fakkurnar um \u00fea\u00f0 leyti sem J\u00f3n litli f\u00e6ddist. En \u00fea\u00f0 var a\u00f0eins hl\u00e9 sem entist ekki nema \u00ed tvo m\u00e1nu\u00f0i, \u00fe\u00e1 byrja\u00f0i \u00e9g aftur. \u00c9g horf\u00f0i \u00e1 l\u00f6ng vi\u00f0t\u00f6l \u00e1 netinu vi\u00f0 f\u00f3lk sem \u00e1tti svona d\u00fakkur og hvernig \u00fea\u00f0 anna\u00f0ist \u00fe\u00e6r. Svo horf\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00e1 myndb\u00f6nd um hvernig \u00fe\u00e6r ur\u00f0u til og vi\u00f0t\u00f6l vi\u00f0 d\u00fakkuger\u00f0arf\u00f3lki\u00f0 um vinnuna sem f\u00f3r \u00ed hverja og eina. \u00c1 s\u00f6lus\u00ed\u00f0unni s\u00e1 \u00e9g reglulega d\u00fakku sem \u00e9g gat hugsa\u00f0 m\u00e9r en n\u00e6st \u00feegar \u00e9g komst \u00ed a\u00f0 sko\u00f0a var s\u00fa sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i sett \u00ed k\u00f6rfuna i\u00f0ulega seld. \u00c9g vissi l\u00edka a\u00f0 \u00e9g var ekki a\u00f0 fara a\u00f0 kaupa d\u00fakku. \u00der\u00e1tt fyrir st\u00f3ra samf\u00e9lagi\u00f0 og alla reddit-\u00fer\u00e6\u00f0ina vissi \u00e9g a\u00f0 \u00e1hugi minn \u00e1 \u00feeim gat vart talist e\u00f0lilegur. Ekki \u00ed \u00edslensku samf\u00e9lagi. Ekki hj\u00e1 ofurvenjulegri giftri konu me\u00f0 \u00ferj\u00fa ung b\u00f6rn. \u00c9g vista\u00f0i upp\u00e1halds myndirnar m\u00ednar lengst inni \u00ed t\u00f6lvunni, \u00ed m\u00f6ppu inni \u00ed m\u00f6ppu inni \u00ed m\u00f6ppu inni \u00ed l\u00e6stri m\u00f6ppu sem \u00feurfti lykilor\u00f0 til a\u00f0 opna. Allar myndirnar voru af stelpud\u00fakkum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deegar \u00e9g var\u00f0 \u00e1tj\u00e1n \u00e1ra f\u00e9kk \u00e9g sent afm\u00e6liskort og bla\u00f0 fr\u00e1 banka me\u00f0 uppl\u00fdsingum um loka\u00f0an reikning \u00ed m\u00ednu nafni me\u00f0 svo h\u00e1rri innist\u00e6\u00f0u a\u00f0 \u00e9g hef\u00f0i geta\u00f0 keypt m\u00e9r \u00e1g\u00e6tan b\u00edl fyrir hana. \u00cd kortinu \u00fatsk\u00fdr\u00f0i Bjartur a\u00f0 hann hef\u00f0i lagt peninga inn \u00e1 \u00feennan reikning m\u00e1na\u00f0arlega fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feau mamma skildu svo \u00e9g hef\u00f0i einhvern sj\u00f3\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00e9g f\u00e6ri \u00fat \u00ed l\u00edfi\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nokkrum d\u00f6gum eftir afm\u00e6li\u00f0 mitt bei\u00f0 \u00e9g me\u00f0 hn\u00fat \u00ed maganum eftir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 mamma k\u00e6mi heim \u00far vinnunni. \u00dea\u00f0 var eini t\u00edmi dagsins sem vi\u00f0 vorum tv\u00e6r einar \u00fev\u00ed Nonni, k\u00e6rastinn hennar, kom alltaf heim stuttu s\u00ed\u00f0ar. \u00c9g hellti upp \u00e1 kaffi, setti tvo bolla vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0 kaffik\u00f6nnunnar og sat tilb\u00fain vi\u00f0 eldh\u00fasbor\u00f0i\u00f0 \u00feegar h\u00fan kom inn. \u00c9g ba\u00f0 hana a\u00f0 setjast ni\u00f0ur og s\u00fdndi henni korti\u00f0 og bla\u00f0i\u00f0. H\u00fan las korti\u00f0 fr\u00e1 honum en r\u00e9tt leit \u00e1 bla\u00f0i\u00f0 fr\u00e1 bankanum \u00e1\u00f0ur en h\u00fan skutla\u00f0i \u00fev\u00ed k\u00e6ruleysislega aftur yfir til m\u00edn og hristi h\u00f6fu\u00f0i\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann l\u00e9t alltaf eins og hann v\u00e6ri pabbi \u00feinn og hef\u00f0i einhvern r\u00e9tt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hva\u00f0 \u00e1ttu vi\u00f0?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00de\u00fa veist alveg hva\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00e1 vi\u00f0, en \u00fea\u00f0 var enginn lagalegur grundv\u00f6llur fyrir \u00fev\u00ed, \u00fe\u00fa varst mitt barn en ekki hans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lagalegur grundv\u00f6llur fyrir hverju?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c6ttlei\u00f0ingunni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan st\u00f3\u00f0 upp, greip annan bollann og n\u00e1\u00f0i \u00ed mj\u00f3lk inn \u00ed \u00edssk\u00e1p.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hva\u00f0a \u00e6ttlei\u00f0ingu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dea\u00f0 kom svipur \u00e1 hana sem \u00e9g \u00feekkti fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g var l\u00edtil. \u00deetta var strangur svipur sem sag\u00f0i a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00e6tti ekki a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta svona \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g vissi betur. \u00c9g vissi ekki betur en \u00feag\u00f0i, af g\u00f6mlum vana. H\u00fan settist aftur ni\u00f0ur vi\u00f0 eldh\u00fasbor\u00f0i\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann vildi \u00e6ttlei\u00f0a \u00feig eins og \u00fe\u00fa kannski manst. Hann var byrja\u00f0ur a\u00f0 tala um \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00f6ngu \u00e1\u00f0ur en vi\u00f0 h\u00e6ttum saman, svo \u00fe\u00fa \u00e6ttir alv\u00f6ru pabba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00e1rin risu \u00e1 handleggjunum \u00e1 m\u00e9r og svitinn spratt fram \u00ed handarkrikunum. \u00c9g vissi a\u00f0 h\u00fan var a\u00f0 segja satt, m\u00e9r fannst mig r\u00e1ma eitthva\u00f0 \u00ed \u00feetta en \u00e1tti samt erfitt me\u00f0 a\u00f0 tr\u00faa \u00feessu. H\u00fan sneri bollanum \u00ed hringi \u00e1 bor\u00f0inu og st\u00fadera\u00f0i mynstri\u00f0 \u00e1\u00f0ur en h\u00fan h\u00e9lt \u00e1fram.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u00e9r fannst \u00fea\u00f0 ekki g\u00f3\u00f0 tilhugsun, sj\u00e1lfrar m\u00edn vegna. \u00dea\u00f0 var eitthva\u00f0 \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gilegt vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 hvernig hann var vi\u00f0 \u00feig, hva\u00f0 hann virtist d\u00fdrka \u00feig. Hann tala\u00f0i aldrei um a\u00f0 giftast m\u00e9r, bara a\u00f0 \u00e6ttlei\u00f0a \u00feig, eins og \u00feetta tvennt f\u00e6ri ekki saman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan leit upp og horf\u00f0i \u00e1 mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g veit a\u00f0 \u00feetta hlj\u00f3mar asnalega, eins og \u00e9g hafi veri\u00f0 afbr\u00fd\u00f0is\u00f6m kannski, en m\u00e9r fannst ekki eins og hann v\u00e6ri \u00e1 lei\u00f0inni a\u00f0 bi\u00f0ja m\u00edn. Sambandi\u00f0 var bara svo \u00fe\u00e6gilegt a\u00f0allega, hann var \u00fe\u00e6gilegur og \u00e1rei\u00f0anlegur ma\u00f0ur, g\u00f3\u00f0ur vi\u00f0 \u00feig, og \u00feetta var allt svo \u00e1g\u00e6tt \u00fear til vi\u00f0 f\u00f3rum a\u00f0 fara \u00ed taugarnar \u00e1 hvort \u00f6\u00f0ru. En \u00fe\u00fa d\u00fdrka\u00f0ir hann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan hristi h\u00f6fu\u00f0i\u00f0 \u00f6rl\u00edti\u00f0 \u00feegar h\u00fan sag\u00f0i \u00feetta og m\u00e9r lei\u00f0 eins og \u00e9g \u00e6tti a\u00f0 svara fyrir \u00fea\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g man ekkert eftir \u00feessu mamma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan d\u00e6sti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deessi pabbaheg\u00f0un var\u00f0 \u00f6ll \u00fdktari \u00feegar vi\u00f0 vorum alveg a\u00f0 h\u00e6tta saman og m\u00e9r fannst \u00fea\u00f0 \u00f3e\u00f0lilegt. \u00c9g veit ekki hvort \u00fea\u00f0 var \u00f3e\u00f0lilegt, \u00e9g get alveg s\u00e9\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 n\u00fana a\u00f0 honum lei\u00f0 \u00f6rugglega eins og hann v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 missa barni\u00f0 sem hann leit \u00e1 sem sitt, vildi kannski s\u00fdna \u00fea\u00f0 og sanna fyrir m\u00e9r. Kannski skynja\u00f0i hann a\u00f0 \u00e9g var a\u00f0 k\u00f3lna gagnvart honum l\u00f6ngu \u00e1\u00f0ur en \u00e9g \u00e1tta\u00f0i mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed. En \u00fe\u00fa varst ekki barni\u00f0 hans. Me\u00f0 \u00e6ttlei\u00f0ingu hef\u00f0i hann or\u00f0i\u00f0 jafnr\u00e9tth\u00e1r m\u00e9r og geta\u00f0 teki\u00f0 allskonar \u00e1kvar\u00f0anir um l\u00edf \u00feitt og \u00e9g var eiginlega bara hr\u00e6dd um a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 yr\u00f0um hlekkja\u00f0ar vi\u00f0 hann a\u00f0 eil\u00edfu. \u00deannig a\u00f0 \u00e9g sag\u00f0i nei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g st\u00f3\u00f0 upp og n\u00e1\u00f0i \u00ed hinn bollann en f\u00e9kk m\u00e9r ekki kaffi \u00fev\u00ed hn\u00faturinn \u00ed maganum \u00e1 m\u00e9r haf\u00f0i st\u00e6kka\u00f0 eftir \u00fev\u00ed sem lei\u00f0 \u00e1 samtali\u00f0. \u00c9g n\u00e1\u00f0i m\u00e9r \u00ed dj\u00fas inn \u00ed \u00edssk\u00e1p, hellti \u00ed bollann og settist aftur vi\u00f0 bor\u00f0i\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00de\u00fa \u00e6tla\u00f0ir aldrei a\u00f0 h\u00e6tta a\u00f0 spyrja um hann. \u00de\u00fa sakna\u00f0ir hans alveg rosalega. Svo loksins \u00feegar \u00fe\u00fa virtist vera b\u00fain a\u00f0 jafna \u00feig \u00fe\u00e1 byrja\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 allt upp \u00e1 n\u00fdtt, \u00feegar hann kom \u00fearna \u00ed sk\u00f3lann til \u00fe\u00edn. Manstu eftir \u00fev\u00ed?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g mundi \u00fea\u00f0 vel. \u00c9g var n\u00fdbyrju\u00f0 \u00ed sex \u00e1ra bekk \u00feegar hann kom inn \u00e1 sk\u00f3lal\u00f3\u00f0ina \u00ed fr\u00edm\u00edn\u00fatum og h\u00f3a\u00f0i \u00ed mig. \u00c9g \u00feekkti hann strax og langa\u00f0i til a\u00f0 hlaupa \u00ed fangi\u00f0 \u00e1 honum en \u00feor\u00f0i \u00fev\u00ed ekki. \u00cd sta\u00f0inn gekk \u00e9g til hans alveg a\u00f0 drepast \u00far feimni og svara\u00f0i varla nokkurri spurningu. \u00c9g var samt himinlifandi yfir heims\u00f3kninni og sag\u00f0i m\u00f6mmu fr\u00e1 henni \u00feegar vi\u00f0 komum heim. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i aldrei skili\u00f0 af hverju hann kom a\u00f0eins \u00ed \u00feetta eina skipti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g hringdi au\u00f0vita\u00f0 \u00ed hann og sag\u00f0i honum a\u00f0 hann \u00e6tti ekki a\u00f0 vera a\u00f0 rugla \u00feig \u00ed r\u00edminu, \u00feetta v\u00e6ri \u00e1reitni og \u00e9g vildi ekki \u00feurfa a\u00f0 hringja \u00e1 l\u00f6gregluna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jes\u00fas mamma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan \u00feagna\u00f0i me\u00f0 \u00ferj\u00f3skusvip \u00e1 andlitinu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En svo m\u00e1tti hann alveg gefa m\u00e9r gjafir?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Krakkar elska pakka B\u00edb\u00ed. M\u00e9r lei\u00f0 eins og \u2026 \u00e9g gat ekki \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan halla\u00f0i undir flatt, dr\u00f3 inn andann eins og h\u00fan \u00e6tla\u00f0i a\u00f0 segja eitthva\u00f0 meira en h\u00e6tti vi\u00f0 og f\u00e9kk s\u00e9r sopa af kaffi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g er a\u00f0 hugsa um a\u00f0 hafa samband vi\u00f0 hann, segja takk e\u00f0a eitthva\u00f0, fyrir peningana.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dea\u00f0 kom skr\u00fdtinn svipur \u00e1 m\u00f6mmu en h\u00fan kinka\u00f0i kolli.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finnst \u00fe\u00e9r ekki a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00e6tti a\u00f0 gera \u00fea\u00f0?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ekkert endilega, en \u2026 ef \u00fe\u00fa heldur a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 geri eitthva\u00f0 fyrir \u00feig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan haf\u00f0i varla sleppt setningunni \u00feegar vi\u00f0 heyr\u00f0um a\u00f0 lykli var stungi\u00f0 \u00ed skr\u00e1na og dyrnar a\u00f0 \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0inni opnu\u00f0ust. Mamma st\u00f3\u00f0 strax \u00e1 f\u00e6tur, greip kaffibollann sinn, opna\u00f0i upp\u00fevottav\u00e9lina og dr\u00f3 efri grindina \u00fat. H\u00fan stansa\u00f0i \u00fear, me\u00f0 bollann \u00ed h\u00f6nd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g ger\u00f0i mitt besta B\u00edb\u00ed, \u00e9g get alveg lofa\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r \u00fev\u00ed. Kannski ger\u00f0i \u00e9g ekki allt r\u00e9tt en \u00e9g reyndi, og sem m\u00f3\u00f0ir gat \u00e9g \u2013 h\u00fan banka\u00f0i kaffibollanum \u00ed hjarta\u00f0 \u2013 veitt \u00fe\u00e9r meira en hann hef\u00f0i nokkurn t\u00edmann geta\u00f0 gert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nokkrum d\u00f6gum s\u00ed\u00f0ar sendi \u00e9g honum skilabo\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 li\u00f0u ekki nema tuttugu m\u00edn\u00fatur fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g sendi skilabo\u00f0in a\u00f0 hann hringdi og bau\u00f0 m\u00e9r \u00ed heims\u00f3kn s\u00ed\u00f0ar sama dag.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann bj\u00f3 \u00e1samt fj\u00f6lskyldunni sinni \u00ed ra\u00f0h\u00fasi \u00ed B\u00f6kkunum svo \u00e9g t\u00f3k str\u00e6t\u00f3 \u00ed Mj\u00f3dd. \u00de\u00f3tt \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri stuttur sp\u00f6lur fr\u00e1 str\u00e6t\u00f3stoppist\u00f6\u00f0inni og heim til hans var lei\u00f0in upp \u00ed m\u00f3ti me\u00f0 vindinn \u00ed fangi\u00f0. \u00c9g st\u00f3\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00f6ndinni \u00feegar \u00e9g kom a\u00f0 h\u00fasinu. \u00c9g var b\u00fain a\u00f0 fletta honum upp \u00e1 Facebook og sko\u00f0a myndir af honum svo \u00e9g vissi hvernig hann leit \u00fat, n\u00e6stum n\u00e1kv\u00e6mlega eins og \u00e9g mundi. Samt var \u00fea\u00f0 eins og h\u00f6gg \u00ed magann a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 hann lifandi kominn \u00feegar hann opna\u00f0i dyrnar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Komdu inn komdu inn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Krydda\u00f0ur og s\u00e6tur heimilisilmur t\u00f3k \u00e1 m\u00f3ti m\u00e9r fyrir innan. Hann loka\u00f0i dyrunum og ni\u00f0urinn \u00ed rokinu og b\u00edlunum sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i heyrt alla lei\u00f0ina uppeftir hvarf algerlega. Hann st\u00f3\u00f0 sem steinrunninn og horf\u00f0i \u00e1 mig \u00fear til hann virtist \u00e1tta sig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viltu ekki hengja upp \u00falpuna? spur\u00f0i hann og reif upp sk\u00e1phur\u00f0 en benti samt\u00edmis \u00e1 snaga sem voru festir l\u00e1gt \u00e1 einn vegginn. \u00c1 sn\u00f6gunum h\u00e9ngu gallajakki og pollaf\u00f6t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g l\u00e9t \u00falpuna falla af \u00f6xlunum en hika\u00f0i \u00e1 milli sk\u00e1psins og snaganna. Hann st\u00f6kk til m\u00edn, t\u00f3k \u00falpuna og hengdi hana \u00e1 her\u00f0atr\u00e9 inn \u00ed sk\u00e1p vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0ina \u00e1 k\u00e1pum og fr\u00f6kkum. Svo loka\u00f0i hann hur\u00f0inni a\u00f0 sk\u00e1pnum og sneri s\u00e9r vi\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u00e1 \u00e9g fa\u00f0ma \u00feig?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann horf\u00f0i \u00e1 mig n\u00e1kv\u00e6mlega eins og \u00e9g haf\u00f0i svo oft \u00edmynda\u00f0 m\u00e9r sem barn a\u00f0 pabbi minn myndi gera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u00e1j\u00e1.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann t\u00f3k varlega utan um mig og yfir\u00feyrmandi tilfinningin kom \u00e1 \u00f3vart. \u00c9g \u00feurfti a\u00f0 beita mig h\u00f6r\u00f0u til a\u00f0 fara ekki gr\u00e1ta. M\u00e9r fannst \u00e9g eiga heima \u00ed \u00feessum fa\u00f0mi. Hl\u00fdjan streymdi gegnum h\u00fa\u00f0ina, v\u00f6\u00f0vana og alla lei\u00f0 inn \u00ed beinin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann var me\u00f0 k\u00f6ku, gos, kaffi og te \u00e1 eldh\u00fasbor\u00f0inu fyrir okkur. Vi\u00f0 drukkum kaffi og t\u00f6lu\u00f0um lengi saman. Svo bau\u00f0 hann m\u00e9r \u00ed mat helgina eftir til a\u00f0 hitta fj\u00f6lskylduna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deau st\u00f3\u00f0u \u00ed hnapp \u00ed forstofunni \u00feegar hann opna\u00f0i dyrnar fyrir m\u00e9r. Krydda\u00f0i heimilisilmurinn fyllti vitin \u00feegar \u00e9g kom inn og m\u00e9r lei\u00f0 eins og h\u00fa\u00f0inni hef\u00f0i veri\u00f0 flett utan af m\u00e9r. Forstofan var l\u00edtil svo konan og b\u00f6rnin st\u00f3\u00f0u eins og \u00fe\u00e9ttur veggur \u00ed forstofudyrunum og horf\u00f0u \u00e1 mig. Konan h\u00e9t Marta en b\u00f6rnin Saga og \u00cdvar s\u00f6g\u00f0u \u00feau m\u00e9r \u00e1\u00f0ur en hann t\u00f3k af m\u00e9r \u00falpuna og hengdi inn \u00ed sk\u00e1p. Hann fa\u00f0ma\u00f0i mig ekki.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g gleymdi alveg a\u00f0 s\u00fdna \u00fe\u00e9r h\u00fasi\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00fe\u00fa komst s\u00ed\u00f0ast, sag\u00f0i hann svo og leit \u00e1 konuna s\u00edna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g kom ekki til a\u00f0 sko\u00f0a h\u00fasi\u00f0, svara\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 hugsa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann og konan hl\u00f3gu og svo leiddi h\u00fan r\u00fant um h\u00fasi\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 var kveikt \u00e1 ofninum \u00ed eldh\u00fasinu og lyktin af t\u00f3m\u00f6tum og kj\u00f6ti var r\u00e1\u00f0andi \u00fear. H\u00fasi\u00f0 var \u00e1 \u00feremur p\u00f6llum, tandurhreint og snyrtilegt. \u00c1 \u00f6llum h\u00e6\u00f0um var samskonar hv\u00edt ilmflaska \u00ed hillu sem framkalla\u00f0i samfelldan s\u00e6tkrydda\u00f0an ilm sem fyllti h\u00fasi\u00f0 upp \u00ed rj\u00e1fur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann kom \u00f6\u00f0ruv\u00edsi fram vi\u00f0 b\u00f6rnin s\u00edn en mig og \u00e9g kanna\u00f0ist vi\u00f0 \u00feessa heg\u00f0un \u00far heims\u00f3knum til vinkvenna minna fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g var l\u00edtil, eins og allt v\u00e6ri svo sj\u00e1lfsagt. Au\u00f0vita\u00f0 elska\u00f0i hann \u00feau \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00feau v\u00e6ru ekkert s\u00e9rst\u00f6k. \u00deetta voru d\u00e6miger\u00f0ir \u00edslenskir krakkar me\u00f0 gl\u00e6rhv\u00edta vetrarh\u00fa\u00f0 og ekkert s\u00e9rlega fr\u00ed\u00f0ir. \u00cdvar var n\u00edu \u00e1ra og minnti \u00e1 k\u00fast, mj\u00f3r og me\u00f0 m\u00fasabr\u00fanan br\u00fask \u00e1 h\u00f6f\u00f0inu. Saga var t\u00f3lf \u00e1ra og minnti \u00e1 marglyttu \u00fev\u00ed h\u00fan var \u00f6ll mj\u00fak \u00e1 einhvern h\u00e1tt og me\u00f0 \u00feunnt lj\u00f3st h\u00e1r ni\u00f0ur \u00e1 her\u00f0ar. \u00der\u00e1tt fyrir rau\u00f0ar b\u00f3lur \u00e1 h\u00f6kunni og \u00ferymlab\u00f3lu \u00e1 kinninni horf\u00f0i h\u00fan sj\u00e1lfs\u00f6rugg beint \u00ed augun \u00e1 m\u00e9r \u00feegar h\u00fan tala\u00f0i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dea\u00f0 eru tv\u00f6 lasagna \u00ed ofninum, b\u00e6\u00f0i vegan og me\u00f0 hakki. Saga sag\u00f0i a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 g\u00e6ti \u00feetta ekki klikka\u00f0, sag\u00f0i Bjartur \u00feegar vi\u00f0 settumst vi\u00f0 bor\u00f0stofubor\u00f0i\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g elska lasagna, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g til a\u00f0 vera n\u00e6s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saga brosti lj\u00f3mandi brosi, alveg eins og pabbi sinn og \u00fea\u00f0 f\u00f3r a\u00f0eins um mig. \u00c9g myndi aldrei l\u00edkjast honum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cdvar var kominn \u00ed s\u00f3fann og b\u00fainn a\u00f0 kveikja \u00e1 sj\u00f3nvarpinu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c6tlar\u00f0u ekki a\u00f0 sitja me\u00f0 okkur og kynnast henni B\u00edb\u00ed? spur\u00f0i Bjartur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mig langar a\u00f0 horfa \u00e1 \u00feetta, svara\u00f0i \u00cdvar \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 l\u00edta \u00e1 \u00feau og kom s\u00e9r fyrir \u00ed s\u00f3fanum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bjarti virtist brug\u00f0i\u00f0 en Marta hl\u00f3 sn\u00f6ggum hl\u00e1tri, greip vatnskar\u00f6flu og byrja\u00f0i a\u00f0 hella \u00ed gl\u00f6s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c6i, \u00fea\u00f0 eru sm\u00e1 vonbrig\u00f0i hj\u00e1 honum, sag\u00f0i Saga. Honum finnst \u00fe\u00fa vera fullor\u00f0in kona, hv\u00edsla\u00f0i h\u00fan svo og hl\u00f3. H\u00fan var s\u00fa eina sem virtist \u00f3snortin af \u00feessum \u00f3e\u00f0lilegu a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0um.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ertu a\u00f0 \u00e6fa eitthva\u00f0? spur\u00f0i h\u00fan mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Svo spur\u00f0u \u00feau hva\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00e6tla\u00f0i m\u00e9r eftir menntask\u00f3la og s\u00f6g\u00f0u fr\u00e1 sj\u00e1lfum s\u00e9r. Bjartur sag\u00f0i m\u00e9r hva\u00f0 v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 fr\u00e9tta af foreldrum s\u00ednum sem h\u00f6f\u00f0u v\u00edst passa\u00f0 mig \u00feegar \u00e9g var l\u00edtil. \u00c9g var ekki viss hvort \u00e9g mundi eftir \u00feeim, en hann b\u00e6tti vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00feau hl\u00f6kku\u00f0u til a\u00f0 hitta mig aftur. Og \u00fe\u00f3tt Saga s\u00e6ti \u00fearna vi\u00f0 bor\u00f0i\u00f0 og hlusta\u00f0i \u00e1 allt saman \u00fe\u00e1 endurt\u00f3k hann a\u00f0 hann hef\u00f0i alltaf liti\u00f0 \u00e1 mig sem fyrsta barni\u00f0 sitt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u00e9r lei\u00f0 eins og fj\u00f6\u00f0ur v\u00e6ri stroki\u00f0 yfir allan l\u00edkamann \u00e1 m\u00e9r \u00feegar hann sag\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0. Marta brosti vingjarnlega allan t\u00edmann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saga er l\u00edka b\u00fain a\u00f0 vera spennt a\u00f0 kynnast loksins eldri systur sinni. H\u00fan \u00e1 engar fr\u00e6nkur n\u00e9 fr\u00e6ndur \u00e1 s\u00ednum aldri, svo \u00fe\u00fa getur r\u00e9tt \u00edmynda\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saga brosti aftur \u00feessu \u00f3tr\u00falega brosi pabba s\u00edns. \u00c9g reyndi a\u00f0 brosa l\u00edka en \u00fea\u00f0 \u00feyrmdi yfir mig. \u00dea\u00f0 var eitthva\u00f0 vi\u00f0 hana.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Allt kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0 \u00fer\u00e1\u00f0i \u00e9g a\u00f0 finna augu Bjarts hv\u00edla \u00e1 m\u00e9r eins og \u00feau ger\u00f0u \u00feegar \u00e9g kom fyrst \u00ed heims\u00f3kn. Eftir \u00fev\u00ed sem lei\u00f0 \u00e1 var\u00f0 \u00fer\u00e1in \u00f3b\u00e6rilegri \u00fev\u00ed hann leit ekki \u00feannig \u00e1 mig. \u00dea\u00f0 var ekkert e\u00f0lilegt vi\u00f0 \u00feessar a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0ur en \u00feau l\u00f6g\u00f0u \u00f6ll, nema \u00cdvar, hart a\u00f0 s\u00e9r a\u00f0 vera e\u00f0lileg og l\u00e9tu eins og \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri sj\u00e1lfsagt a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri \u00fearna og a\u00f0 loksins v\u00e6ri \u00e9g aftur hluti af fj\u00f6lskyldunni. En m\u00e9r lei\u00f0 eins og algerum a\u00f0skotahlut, \u00e9g \u00e1tti ekki minn sta\u00f0 vi\u00f0 eldh\u00fasbor\u00f0i\u00f0, \u00ed bor\u00f0stofunni, s\u00f3fanum e\u00f0a neins sta\u00f0ar annars sta\u00f0ar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g f\u00f3r aftur til \u00feeirra \u00ed mat tveim vikum s\u00ed\u00f0ar og sagan endurt\u00f3k sig, \u00e9g gekk inn h\u00fa\u00f0laus taugahr\u00faga sem \u00fer\u00e1\u00f0i eitthva\u00f0 sem ekki var\u00f0 fengi\u00f0. \u00cd \u00feetta skipti\u00f0 s\u00f6g\u00f0u \u00feau m\u00e9r fr\u00e1 veislunni sem \u00feau h\u00e9ldu alltaf \u00e1 fyrsta \u00ed a\u00f0ventu. St\u00f3rfj\u00f6lskyldur beggja megin myndu m\u00e6ta og \u00e9g yr\u00f0i a\u00f0 koma og hitta alla sem hef\u00f0u ekki s\u00e9\u00f0 mig s\u00ed\u00f0an \u00e9g var fj\u00f6gurra \u00e1ra. \u00c9g lofa\u00f0i a\u00f0 m\u00e6ta, \u00fe\u00f3tt tilhugsunin ein framkalla\u00f0i kv\u00ed\u00f0ahn\u00fat \u00ed magann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cd lok kv\u00f6lds keyr\u00f0i Bjartur mig heim og \u00feegar hann kvaddi t\u00f3k hann \u00ed h\u00f6ndina \u00e1 m\u00e9r, kreisti hana og sag\u00f0ist vera svo \u00e1n\u00e6g\u00f0ur me\u00f0 a\u00f0 hafa fengi\u00f0 mig aftur inn \u00ed l\u00edf sitt. Svo horf\u00f0i hann loksins \u00e1 mig eins og hann haf\u00f0i gert \u00ed fyrstu heims\u00f3kninni og s\u00e6lan hr\u00edsla\u00f0ist um mig. \u00c9g sag\u00f0i s\u00f6mulei\u00f0is og meinti \u00fea\u00f0 af \u00f6llu hjarta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g gat ekki sofna\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00e9g kom upp \u00ed r\u00fam. Hugmynd \u00cdvars um a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri fullor\u00f0in kona sat \u00ed m\u00e9r. \u00dea\u00f0 var alveg r\u00e9tt hj\u00e1 honum \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g var or\u00f0in \u00e1tj\u00e1n \u00e1ra og l\u00f6ngu farin a\u00f0 hugsa um mig sj\u00e1lf a\u00f0 mestu leyti. Bjartur og konan hans komu samt fram vi\u00f0 mig eins og h\u00e1lfgert barn. \u00c9g var b\u00fain a\u00f0 fara yfir fyrri heims\u00f3knir m\u00f6rgum sinnum undanfarnar vikur og n\u00fa f\u00f3r \u00e9g yfir kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0 aftur og aftur \u00fear til m\u00e9r fannst \u00e9g vera a\u00f0 \u00e1tta mig \u00e1 einhverju. \u00c1tta mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 stakk mig \u00feegar Bjartur sag\u00f0ist vera \u00e1n\u00e6g\u00f0ur me\u00f0 mig, auk \u00feess sem hann haf\u00f0i horft skringilega \u00e1 mig. Allt \u00ed einu fannst m\u00e9r \u00fea\u00f0 ekki geta veri\u00f0 \u00e9g sem hann vildi, heldur s\u00e6i hann einhverja a\u00f0ra stelpu, einhverja yngri og barnalegri. Hann vildi f\u00e1 barni\u00f0 sitt aftur en \u00fea\u00f0 var ekki h\u00e6gt \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g var or\u00f0in \u00e1tj\u00e1n \u00e1ra, fullor\u00f0in kona.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deegar klukkan var langt gengin \u00ed eitt eftir mi\u00f0n\u00e6tti sendi \u00e9g honum sms. \u00c9g sag\u00f0i honum a\u00f0 hann \u00feyrfti ekki a\u00f0 hafa \u00e1hyggjur af neinu en \u00e9g myndi ekki koma aftur. \u00c9g teldi \u00fea\u00f0 vera okkur b\u00e1\u00f0um fyrir bestu. Svo \u00feakka\u00f0i \u00e9g k\u00e6rlega fyrir mig og \u00f3ska\u00f0i \u00feeim alls hins besta \u00ed framt\u00ed\u00f0inni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann svara\u00f0i m\u00e9r daginn eftir. \u00de\u00e1 sag\u00f0ist hann vera mi\u00f0ur s\u00edn og l\u00edti\u00f0 hafa sofi\u00f0, hann vildi gjarnan a\u00f0 \u00e9g g\u00e6fi \u00feeim annan s\u00e9ns. \u00deau v\u00e6ru svo gl\u00f6\u00f0 a\u00f0 hafa endurheimt mig og vildu a\u00f0 \u00e9g upplif\u00f0i mig sem hluta af fj\u00f6lskyldunni. Hann sendi m\u00e9r nokkur skilabo\u00f0 til vi\u00f0b\u00f3tar og reyndi a\u00f0 hringja. \u00c9g svara\u00f0i ekki.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fyrir nokkrum m\u00e1nu\u00f0um var \u00e9g \u00e1 lei\u00f0inni \u00ed r\u00fami\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00e9g s\u00e1 a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00e1gu n\u00fd stj\u00f6rnukort undir t\u00f6lvunni hans Vals \u00e1 skrifbor\u00f0inu \u00ed svefnherberginu okkar, sem var ekki \u00f3venjulegt. Vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0ina \u00e1 t\u00f6lvunni var stj\u00f6rnuspekihandb\u00f3kin sem \u00e9g gaf honum flj\u00f3tlega eftir a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 kynntumst. En \u00feegar \u00e9g var komin \u00ed n\u00e1ttkj\u00f3linn t\u00f3k \u00e9g eftir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 horni\u00f0 \u00e1 efsta bla\u00f0inu skaga\u00f0i \u00fat undan t\u00f6lvunni og \u00fea\u00f0 var l\u00edklega \u00fea\u00f0 sem f\u00e9kk mig til a\u00f0 l\u00edta aftur \u00e1 bor\u00f0i\u00f0. Og \u00fe\u00e1 s\u00e1 \u00e9g \u00fea\u00f0: \u00c1 horni\u00f0 haf\u00f0i veri\u00f0 handskrifa\u00f0 nafni\u00f0 mitt, B\u00edb\u00ed. \u00c9g dr\u00f3 hefti\u00f0 undan t\u00f6lvunni, s\u00e1 f\u00e6\u00f0ingart\u00edmann, bl\u00f3ta\u00f0i m\u00f6mmu \u00ed huganum og rauk fram \u00ed stofu \u00fear sem Valur sat \u00ed s\u00f3fanum fyrir framan sj\u00f3nvarpi\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00fa f\u00f3rstu langt yfir striki\u00f0, hv\u00e6sti \u00e9g \u00e1 hann, l\u00e1gt til a\u00f0 vekja ekki str\u00e1kana, og veifa\u00f0i bl\u00f6\u00f0unum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deetta var l\u00ednan sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i dregi\u00f0 \u00ed upphafi sambandsins, \u00e9g vildi ekki a\u00f0 hann teikna\u00f0i upp og l\u00e6si \u00ed stj\u00f6rnukorti\u00f0 mitt. Hann hefur gert kort fyrir alla str\u00e1kana, m\u00f6mmu, Nonna og fleiri \u00ed fj\u00f6lskyldunni. Hann gerir kort fyrir alla sem vilja og \u00fea\u00f0 er fullkomlega ofar m\u00ednum skilningi hva\u00f0 hann nennir a\u00f0 tala vi\u00f0 f\u00f3lk um pers\u00f3nuleika \u00feess, tilfinningar og tilhneigingar. Hann hefur oft nefnt a\u00f0 gera kort fyrir mig l\u00edka, en \u00e9g hef alltaf \u00feverteki\u00f0 fyrir \u00fea\u00f0. Og \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g treysti honum fullkomlega haf\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00e1 s\u00ednum t\u00edma l\u00e1ti\u00f0 m\u00f6mmu lofa m\u00e9r \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 gefa honum ekki upp f\u00e6\u00f0ingart\u00edmann minn ef \u00fea\u00f0 k\u00e6mi einhvern t\u00edma til tals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hvernig \u00e1 \u00e9g annars a\u00f0 skilja hva\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa ert a\u00f0 hugsa e\u00f0a hva\u00f0 er \u00ed gangi, spur\u00f0i hann l\u00e1gt og r\u00f3lega.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00de\u00fa b\u00fdr\u00f0 me\u00f0 m\u00e9r og \u00e6ttir a\u00f0 geta lesi\u00f0 \u00ed a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0ur, auk \u00feess er \u00e9g bara \u00f3ge\u00f0slega \u00fereytt alltaf, hv\u00e6sti \u00e9g.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cd raun og veru var vandinn a\u00f0 m\u00ednu mati s\u00e1 a\u00f0 hann var or\u00f0inn \u00f3\u00feolandi. Honum fannst ekkert m\u00e1l a\u00f0 hafa eignast \u00ferj\u00fa b\u00f6rn \u00e1 fimm \u00e1rum. L\u00edf hans var d\u00e1samlegt, allt sem hann haf\u00f0i dreymt um var a\u00f0 r\u00e6tast, nema hva\u00f0 hann \u00e1tti \u00fereytta og f\u00fala eiginkonu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g var ekki byrja\u00f0ur \u00e1 neinu B\u00edb\u00ed, \u00feetta eru bara grunndr\u00f6g og \u00e9g er ekki \u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dea\u00f0 skiptir ekki m\u00e1li.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g fleyg\u00f0i bl\u00f6\u00f0unum \u00ed s\u00f3fann og f\u00f3r inn \u00ed svefnherbergi, loka\u00f0i \u00e1 eftir m\u00e9r og l\u00e6sti. \u00c9g kom m\u00e9r fyrir uppi \u00ed r\u00fami me\u00f0 t\u00f6lvuna \u00ed fanginu \u00f6skuill. Trausti\u00f0 \u00e1 milli okkar var fari\u00f0 \u00ed m\u00ednum huga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Allar d\u00fakkurnar sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i sett \u00ed k\u00f6rfu voru greinilega l\u00f6ngu seldar. \u00c9g leita\u00f0i lengi og fann loks d\u00fakku sem m\u00e9r leist vel \u00e1. H\u00fan var \u00e1 st\u00e6r\u00f0 vi\u00f0 fimm til sex m\u00e1na\u00f0a barn, gl\u00e6rhv\u00edt \u00e1 h\u00f6rund me\u00f0 lj\u00f3san d\u00fan \u00e1 kollinum. \u00c9g smellti henni \u00ed k\u00f6rfu og h\u00e9lt \u00e1fram a\u00f0 sko\u00f0a, setti tv\u00e6r til vi\u00f0b\u00f3tar \u00ed k\u00f6rfuna og bar \u00fe\u00e6r svo saman. Valur kom ekki einu sinni \u00e1 eftir m\u00e9r inn \u00ed herbergi a\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a m\u00e1lin e\u00f0a bi\u00f0jast afs\u00f6kunar. \u00dea\u00f0 var eitthva\u00f0 vi\u00f0 \u00feessa fyrstu, h\u00fan minnti mig \u00e1 sj\u00e1lfa mig \u00feegar \u00e9g var ungbarn, e\u00f0a kannski s\u00e1 \u00e9g syni m\u00edna \u00ed henni, \u00e9g veit \u00fea\u00f0 ekki alveg. Skyndilega var \u00e9g komin \u00ed grei\u00f0sluferli\u00f0 me\u00f0 hana, \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 hugsa, en \u00fe\u00f3 me\u00f0vitu\u00f0 um a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 panta real-born d\u00fakku, eftirger\u00f0 barns sem var til einhvers sta\u00f0ar \u00ed alv\u00f6runni. \u00c9g hika\u00f0i \u00f6rl\u00edti\u00f0 en svo hugsa\u00f0i \u00e9g a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 skipti \u00ed raun engu \u00fev\u00ed \u00feetta voru bara d\u00fakkur og svo sl\u00f3 \u00e9g inn n\u00fameri\u00f0 \u00e1 kreditkortinu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deegar \u00e9g var b\u00fain a\u00f0 borga og f\u00e1 sta\u00f0festingu \u00e1 p\u00f6ntuninni \u00ed t\u00f6lvup\u00f3sti t\u00f3k \u00e9g a\u00f0ra \u00e1kv\u00f6r\u00f0un. \u00c1kv\u00f6r\u00f0un sem \u00e9g \u00e1leit \u00f3umfl\u00fdjanlega. \u00c9g \u00e6tla\u00f0i a\u00f0 skilja vi\u00f0 Val.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saga hringdi \u00ed mig \u00feremur d\u00f6gum eftir heims\u00f3knina. \u00c9g veit ekki hvort \u00e9g hef\u00f0i svara\u00f0 hef\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00e1tta\u00f0 mig \u00e1 a\u00f0 \u00feetta v\u00e6ri h\u00fan. M\u00e9r haf\u00f0i ekki dotti\u00f0 \u00ed hug a\u00f0 h\u00fan myndi hafa samband, en h\u00fan hringdi og spur\u00f0i hvort \u00e9g vildi koma me\u00f0 s\u00e9r \u00ed b\u00ed\u00f3. Hana langa\u00f0i a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 einhverja mynd sem allar vinkonur hennar voru b\u00fanar a\u00f0 sj\u00e1, \u00fe\u00e6r hef\u00f0u fari\u00f0 \u00e1 hana kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0 sem \u00e9g kom \u00ed mat. Henni lei\u00f0 eins og l\u00fa\u00f0a a\u00f0 vera ekki b\u00fain a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 \u00feessa mynd. \u00c9g gat ekki sagt nei. H\u00fan minntist ekki einu or\u00f0i \u00e1 pabba sinn n\u00e9 skilabo\u00f0in sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i sent, heldur stakk bara upp \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 hittumst \u00ed Kringlub\u00ed\u00f3i og \u00e9g sam\u00feykkti \u00f3sj\u00e1lfr\u00e1tt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan var \u00f6\u00f0ruv\u00edsi \u00feegar foreldrar hennar voru ekki n\u00e6rri, ekki jafn vark\u00e1r. Vi\u00f0 t\u00f6lu\u00f0um um myndina, sk\u00f3lann og vinkonur hennar \u00e1\u00f0ur en vi\u00f0 gengum inn \u00ed salinn og \u00e9g \u00e1tta\u00f0i mig \u00e1 a\u00f0 h\u00fan var \u00feroska\u00f0ri en \u00e9g haf\u00f0i gert r\u00e1\u00f0 fyrir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pabbi var\u00f0 rosalega hissa \u00feegar \u00e9g sag\u00f0ist vera a\u00f0 fara \u00ed b\u00ed\u00f3 me\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r, sag\u00f0i h\u00fan \u00feegar myndin var b\u00fain og vi\u00f0 st\u00f3\u00f0um \u00e1 ganginum fyrir framan b\u00ed\u00f3i\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g fraus \u00ed sporunum og h\u00fan stoppa\u00f0i l\u00edka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00fa, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u00e1 hann var alveg f\u00e1r\u00e1nlega hissa, sag\u00f0i h\u00fan og flissa\u00f0i a\u00f0eins. \u00c9g spur\u00f0i hvort \u00e9g m\u00e6tti ekki hitta \u00feig ein, hvort \u00fea\u00f0 yr\u00f0u alltaf a\u00f0 vera vi\u00f0 \u00f6ll.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Svo \u00feagna\u00f0i h\u00fan og leit \u00ed kringum sig, h\u00f3pur af kr\u00f6kkum \u00e1 hennar aldrei gekk hj\u00e1 \u00ed \u00e1tt a\u00f0 veitingast\u00f6\u00f0unum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Og hva\u00f0 sag\u00f0i hann vi\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hann sag\u00f0i bara j\u00fa au\u00f0vita\u00f0, \u00e9g m\u00e6tti alveg hitta \u00feig ein. Svo vildi hann vita hvort \u00e9g hef\u00f0i stungi\u00f0 upp \u00e1 \u00feessu e\u00f0a \u00fe\u00fa og svo l\u00e9t hann mig f\u00e1 miklu meiri pening fyrir b\u00ed\u00f3 en venjulega.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan horf\u00f0i \u00e1 mig \u00fatundan s\u00e9r. Mig langa\u00f0i a\u00f0 s\u00f6kkva ofan \u00ed j\u00f6r\u00f0ina, \u00e9g kom ekki upp or\u00f0i, \u00e9g gat ekki \u00fatsk\u00fdrt \u00feetta fyrir henni. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i ekki leitt hugann s\u00e9rstaklega a\u00f0 henni e\u00f0a \u00feeim hinum \u00feegar \u00e9g skrifa\u00f0i skilabo\u00f0in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pabbi er b\u00fainn a\u00f0 vera eitthva\u00f0 svo \u201etense\u201c a\u00f0 \u00e9g spur\u00f0i hann ekkert um s\u00edman\u00fameri\u00f0, \u00e9g stalst bara \u00ed s\u00edmann hans og fann \u00fea\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g leit aftur \u00e1 hana og \u00fe\u00e1 rann loks upp fyrir m\u00e9r a\u00f0 h\u00fan vissi ekkert um skilabo\u00f0in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g var mj\u00f6g gl\u00f6\u00f0 a\u00f0 heyra \u00ed \u00fe\u00e9r, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan brosti breitt og leit \u00e1 sk\u00f3na s\u00edna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deetta var g\u00f3\u00f0 hugmynd, a\u00f0 hringja bara, a\u00f0 \u00feora \u00fev\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mamma var b\u00fain a\u00f0 segja a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri ekkert \u00f6ruggt a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 tv\u00e6r yr\u00f0um eitthva\u00f0 vinkonur e\u00f0a eitthva\u00f0. Sama \u00fe\u00f3tt pabbi minn hef\u00f0i veri\u00f0 pabbi \u00feinn \u00ed \u00ferj\u00fa \u00e1r \u00feegar \u00fe\u00fa varst p\u00ednul\u00edtil. \u00c9g var n\u00e6stum \u00fev\u00ed ekki b\u00fain a\u00f0 hringja en svo hugsa\u00f0i \u00e9g bara \u00e6i fokk it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u00f0 hl\u00f3gum b\u00e1\u00f0ar. Svo stakk \u00e9g upp \u00e1 a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 fengjum okkur pitsu og Saga var til \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bjartur minntist aldrei \u00e1 skilabo\u00f0in sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i sent og ekki Marta heldur. \u00c9g m\u00e6tti \u00ed a\u00f0ventubo\u00f0i\u00f0 og \u00fea\u00f0 var eins og allir v\u00e6ru jafn vandr\u00e6\u00f0alegir yfir \u00feessu og \u00e9g. Foreldrar hans voru bara h\u00e6filega \u00e1hugas\u00f6m, og pressan sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i gert r\u00e1\u00f0 fyrir var\u00f0 aldrei neitt \u00ed l\u00edkingu vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i \u00edmynda\u00f0 m\u00e9r. \u00c9g m\u00e6tti \u00ed j\u00f3labo\u00f0 og matarbo\u00f0 eftir \u00feetta, ekki \u00f6ll en samt m\u00f6rg og sm\u00e1m saman vandist \u00feetta. Oft lei\u00f0 m\u00e9r eins og \u00e9g tilheyr\u00f0i n\u00e6stum fj\u00f6lskyldunni. Bjartur var mj\u00f6g \u00e1n\u00e6g\u00f0ur og vi\u00f0 ur\u00f0um vinir, en \u00fea\u00f0 var Saga sem breytti \u00f6llu. Vi\u00f0 n\u00e1\u00f0um saman. H\u00fan var\u00f0 m\u00e9r flj\u00f3tlega eins og systir og m\u00e9r f\u00f3r a\u00f0 finnast \u00e9g ekki geta \u00e1n hennar veri\u00f0. Vi\u00f0 t\u00f6lu\u00f0um saman daglega n\u00e6stu t\u00edu \u00e1rin og erum enn\u00fe\u00e1 mj\u00f6g n\u00e1nar. H\u00fan hl\u00e6r alltaf a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g vilji ekki l\u00e1ta Val gera stj\u00f6rnukort fyrir mig, h\u00fan f\u00e9kk sitt fr\u00e1 honum fyrir l\u00f6ngu s\u00ed\u00f0an.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Morguninn eftir var m\u00e9r runnin rei\u00f0in, nei \u00e9g get ekki skili\u00f0 vi\u00f0 Val, hugsa\u00f0i \u00e9g yfir kaffibollanum me\u00f0 str\u00e1kana smjattandi \u00e1 morgunmatnum vi\u00f0 eldh\u00fasbor\u00f0i\u00f0. \u00deegar Valur var farinn af sta\u00f0 me\u00f0 str\u00e1kana \u00ed sk\u00f3la og leiksk\u00f3la gekk \u00e9g fr\u00e1 \u00ed eldh\u00fasinu \u00e1\u00f0ur en \u00e9g f\u00f3r \u00ed vinnuna. \u00c9g braut saman t\u00f3man kassa undan kornflexi og \u00e6tla\u00f0i a\u00f0 setja hann \u00ed pappaboxi\u00f0 \u00ed ruslask\u00e1pnum og s\u00e1 \u00fe\u00e1 stj\u00f6rnukorti\u00f0 mitt. \u00dea\u00f0 var b\u00fai\u00f0 a\u00f0 r\u00edfa \u00fea\u00f0 snyrtilega \u00ed fj\u00f3ra b\u00fata og \u00fearna l\u00e1 \u00fea\u00f0 n\u00e6stum eins og til s\u00fdnis. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00feyrmdi yfir mig vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 \u00feetta, feginleiki, vonbrig\u00f0i og samviskubit allt \u00e1 sama t\u00edma. Samviskubiti\u00f0 var sterkast, hann haf\u00f0i bakka\u00f0 strax kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0 \u00e1\u00f0ur \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00e9g sat \u00f6skuill inni \u00ed herbergi og panta\u00f0i m\u00e9r r\u00e1nd\u00fdra handger\u00f0a d\u00fakku \u00e1 netinu. Af hverju var\u00f0 \u00e9g svona rei\u00f0? \u00deetta voru svo l\u00edtil svik \u00ed raun, bara eitthva\u00f0 kort me\u00f0 teikningu sem l\u00fdsti \u00fev\u00ed hvernig stj\u00f6rnurnar r\u00f6\u00f0u\u00f0u s\u00e9r upp \u00ed himingeimnum \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed augnabliki sem \u00e9g f\u00e6ddist. \u00c9g tr\u00fa\u00f0i ekki einu sinni \u00e1 \u00feetta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g \u00e1 hana skili\u00f0, haf\u00f0i \u00e9g hugsa\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00e9g panta\u00f0i d\u00fakkuna. Valur haf\u00f0i keypt risast\u00f3ran stj\u00f6rnuk\u00edki stuttu \u00e1\u00f0ur svo m\u00e9r fannst \u00e9g mega kaupa m\u00e9r \u00fea\u00f0 sem mig langa\u00f0i \u00ed, sama hva\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 var d\u00fdrt og f\u00e1r\u00e1nlegt. Eini munurinn var a\u00f0 stj\u00f6rnuk\u00edkirinn var l\u00edka hugsa\u00f0ur fyrir str\u00e1kana, hann \u00e6tla\u00f0i a\u00f0 kenna \u00feeim \u00e1 stj\u00f6rnurnar og himingeiminn og \u00feeir \u00e1ttu b\u00e6kur um \u00feetta allt saman. \u00c9g var bara a\u00f0 panta skr\u00fdtna d\u00fakku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g s\u00f3tti d\u00fakkuna \u00e1 \u00fej\u00f3nustubor\u00f0 \u00ed Kringlunni stuttu s\u00ed\u00f0ar og f\u00f3r me\u00f0 hana \u00ed vinnuna. \u00dear geymdi \u00e9g hana \u00ed l\u00edti\u00f0 nota\u00f0ri geymslu \u00ed tvo e\u00f0a \u00ferj\u00e1 m\u00e1nu\u00f0i \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 taka hana \u00far kassanum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dea\u00f0 var ekki fyrr en n\u00fdlega, \u00feegar Valur f\u00f3r \u00ed vei\u00f0ifer\u00f0 yfir heila helgi, sem \u00e9g gat loksins fari\u00f0 me\u00f0
d\u00fakkuna heim. \u00c9g sendi str\u00e1kana \u00ed n\u00e6turp\u00f6ssun til m\u00f6mmu \u00e1 laugardagskv\u00f6ldinu. Um kv\u00f6ldmatarleyti\u00f0 t\u00f3k \u00e9g d\u00fakkuna upp \u00far kassanum inni \u00ed svefnherbergi, lag\u00f0i hana \u00e1 hj\u00f3nar\u00fami\u00f0 og f\u00e9kk m\u00e9r rau\u00f0v\u00ednsglas. H\u00fan var d\u00fakkulegri en \u00e9g haf\u00f0i b\u00faist vi\u00f0. H\u00fan var me\u00f0 \u00feunna hv\u00edta h\u00fafu me\u00f0 \u00fatsaumu\u00f0u D-i \u00ed upp\u00e1brotinu og \u00fea\u00f0 var hl\u00fdr t\u00f3nn \u00ed hv\u00edta h\u00fa\u00f0litnum sem f\u00f3r \u00f3tr\u00falega vel me\u00f0 m\u00fasabr\u00fanu h\u00e1rtj\u00e1sunum sem sl\u00e6ddust undan h\u00fafunni. H\u00fan virtist \u00f6gn s\u00f3lbr\u00fan og var \u00f6ll b\u00fattu\u00f0 og kr\u00fattleg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g t\u00f3k d\u00fakkuna upp og \u00fereifa\u00f0i \u00e1 henni allri, h\u00fan var sv\u00f6l vi\u00f0komu en samt mj\u00fak og me\u00f0 barnslega \u00feyngd \u00ed s\u00e9r. \u00c9g t\u00f3k hana \u00ed fangi\u00f0 eins og \u00e9g var v\u00f6n a\u00f0 gera vi\u00f0 str\u00e1kana litla og \u00fea\u00f0 kom skr\u00fdtin tilfinning yfir mig. \u00dea\u00f0 kom m\u00e9r \u00e1 \u00f3vart hva\u00f0 h\u00fan var l\u00e9tt en \u00feyngdin \u00ed h\u00f6f\u00f0inu virtist samt h\u00e1rr\u00e9tt fyrir sex m\u00e1na\u00f0a barn. \u00cd augnablik fannst m\u00e9r \u00e9g halda \u00e1 raunverulegu barni. Svo pota\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00ed magann \u00e1 henni og hann gaf eftir, en ekki eins og l\u00edtil barnabumba \u00fev\u00ed b\u00fakurinn var \u00far taui og einhverskonar grj\u00f3num. \u00dea\u00f0 lag\u00f0i daufan og s\u00e6tan ilm af henni. \u00deegar \u00e9g \u00fer\u00fdsti nefinu \u00ed magann \u00e1 henni fann \u00e9g a\u00f0 ilmurinn kom \u00fea\u00f0an, en ekki af f\u00f6tunum. A\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed loknu kom \u00e9g henni fyrir \u00e1 handleggnum, loka\u00f0i augunum sm\u00e1 stund, st\u00f3\u00f0 svo upp \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 l\u00edta \u00e1 hana og gekk um \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0ina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dea\u00f0 r\u00edkti \u00f3venjuleg og sjaldg\u00e6f \u00fe\u00f6gn \u00ed \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0inni \u00feegar enginn var heima nema \u00e9g og \u00fatvarpi\u00f0 l\u00e1gt stillt \u00ed eldh\u00fasinu. N\u00fa heyr\u00f0i \u00e9g dynki \u00far \u00f6\u00f0rum \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0um \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00e9g gekk um. M\u00e9r lei\u00f0 eins og l\u00edfi\u00f0 v\u00e6ri annars sta\u00f0ar, eins og \u00e9g hef\u00f0i gengi\u00f0 um dyr inn \u00ed hli\u00f0arheim innan \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0arinnar. Engin b\u00f6rn og enginn eiginma\u00f0ur, allt gat gerst \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 neinn vissi, en um lei\u00f0 var allt vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 sama. \u00c9g gekk a\u00f0 gluggunum \u00ed stofunni og horf\u00f0i \u00fat yfir \u00e1 n\u00e6stu blokk, ilmurinn af d\u00fakkunni l\u00e9k um vitin og m\u00e9r lei\u00f0 eins og enginn s\u00e6i mig, enginn g\u00e6ti m\u00f6gulega s\u00e9\u00f0 mig. Svo virti \u00e9g gluggana fyrir m\u00e9r. \u00deeir voru n\u00fdlegir og \u00f6ll f\u00f6gin me\u00f0 barnal\u00e6singu. \u00dea\u00f0 var ekki h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 henda neinu st\u00e6rra en pappah\u00f3lki innan \u00far kl\u00f3settr\u00fallu \u00fat, nema \u00f6ryggi\u00f0 v\u00e6ri teki\u00f0 af og til \u00feess \u00feurfti lagni, svo b\u00f6rn g\u00e6tu ekki gert \u00fea\u00f0. \u00de\u00e1 g\u00e6ti \u00e9g reyndar hent sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r \u00fat um gluggana l\u00edka \u00fev\u00ed \u00feeir opnu\u00f0ust svo vel. \u00c9g gekk fram \u00ed eldh\u00fas me\u00f0 d\u00fakkuna, s\u00e1 fl\u00f6skuna og mundi eftir t\u00f3mu rau\u00f0v\u00ednsglasinu inni \u00ed svefnherbergi. \u00c9g f\u00f3r inn og lag\u00f0i hana \u00e1 r\u00fami\u00f0 mitt, n\u00e1\u00f0i \u00ed meira rau\u00f0v\u00edn og horf\u00f0i \u00e1 hana \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00e9g drakk n\u00e6sta glas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan virtist n\u00e6stum lifandi. \u00c9g t\u00f3k hana \u00ed fangi\u00f0 og f\u00f3r fram, f\u00e9kk m\u00e9r aftur \u00ed glasi\u00f0, settist \u00ed s\u00f3fann me\u00f0 hana og kveikti \u00e1 sj\u00f3nvarpinu. H\u00fan hitna\u00f0i flj\u00f3tt og \u00fea\u00f0 var n\u00e6stum eins og a\u00f0 vera me\u00f0 sofandi barn \u00e1 bringunni. \u00c9g kn\u00fasa\u00f0i hana d\u00e1l\u00edti\u00f0 en fann um lei\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00feetta var bara d\u00fakka og h\u00fan f\u00f3r umsvifalaust svo miki\u00f0 \u00ed taugarnar \u00e1 m\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00e9g f\u00e9kk t\u00e1r \u00ed augun. \u00c9g st\u00f6kk \u00e1 f\u00e6tur, f\u00f3r aftur inn \u00ed svefnherbergi og lag\u00f0i hana \u00e1 r\u00fami\u00f0. Svo f\u00f3r \u00e9g fram og hellti restinni \u00far fl\u00f6skunni \u00ed glasi\u00f0 mitt, settist fyrir framan sj\u00f3nvarpi\u00f0 og h\u00e9lt \u00e1fram a\u00f0 horfa \u00e1 einhverja gamla og l\u00e9lega b\u00ed\u00f3mynd. \u00c9g \u00edmynda\u00f0i m\u00e9r a\u00f0 barni\u00f0 sv\u00e6fi inni \u00ed r\u00faminu m\u00ednu. Svo rann eitthva\u00f0 \u00f3\u00feol \u00e1 mig. \u00c9g gafst upp \u00e1 b\u00ed\u00f3myndinni og n\u00e1\u00f0i \u00ed kassann utan af d\u00fakkunni, braut hann saman og setti fram \u00ed forstofu svo \u00e9g gleymdi ekki a\u00f0 losa mig vi\u00f0 hann \u00e1\u00f0ur en str\u00e1karnir k\u00e6mu heim. S\u00ed\u00f0an fann \u00e9g til gamla ungbarnas\u00e6ng sem \u00e9g gat pakka\u00f0 d\u00fakkunni inn \u00ed. \u00c9g var or\u00f0in skj\u00e1lfhent \u00feegar \u00e9g kom henni fyrir uppi \u00ed efri sk\u00e1p \u00ed svefnherberginu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g svaf illa og vakna\u00f0i nokkrum sinnum um n\u00f3ttina vi\u00f0 tilhugsunina um d\u00fakkuna uppi \u00ed sk\u00e1p. M\u00e9r fannst eitthva\u00f0 rangt vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 hafa hana \u00fear, eins og h\u00fan \u00e6tti a\u00f0 vera \u00ed r\u00faminu hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r e\u00f0a \u00ed fallega umb\u00fanu barnar\u00fami. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i ekkert undirb\u00fai\u00f0 komu hennar, ekkert hugsa\u00f0 um hvar h\u00fan \u00e6tti a\u00f0 vera e\u00f0a hvernig \u00e6tti a\u00f0 hugsa um hana eins og f\u00f3lk ger\u00f0i \u00ed myndb\u00f6ndunum \u00e1 netinu. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i bara stungi\u00f0 henni inn \u00ed sk\u00e1p.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deegar \u00e9g vakna\u00f0i daginn eftir var \u00e9g b\u00e6\u00f0i dau\u00f0\u00fereytt og \u00f6skupirru\u00f0 \u00e1 sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r. \u00c9g skildi ekki hva\u00f0an \u00feessar hugmyndir og samviskubit komu. \u00deetta var bara d\u00fakka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g flutti \u00fat fr\u00e1 m\u00f6mmu \u00feegar \u00e9g var r\u00famlega tv\u00edtug. \u00de\u00e1 vorum vi\u00f0 mamma og Nonni b\u00fain a\u00f0 b\u00faa saman \u00ed t\u00e6plega \u00e1ttat\u00edu fermetra \u00feriggja herbergja \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0 \u00ed fj\u00f6gur \u00e1r. Allt \u00ed einu fannst m\u00e9r \u00e9g vera a\u00f0 kafna. \u00c9g var byrju\u00f0 \u00ed h\u00e1sk\u00f3lanum og vildi haga m\u00ednu l\u00edfi eftir eigin h\u00f6f\u00f0i, ekki \u00feurfa a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta vita hvort \u00e9g k\u00e6mi \u00ed mat, f\u00e6ri \u00e1 deit e\u00f0a \u00e6tla\u00f0i \u00e1 djammi\u00f0. \u00c9g s\u00e1 ekki \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u til \u00feess a\u00f0 vera \u00e1fram \u00fearna \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri \u00f3d\u00fdrara. \u00deannig a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00f3tti um \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0 \u00e1 st\u00fadentag\u00f6r\u00f0um og f\u00f3r a\u00f0 leigja me\u00f0 vinkonu minni \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00e9g bei\u00f0 eftir \u00fathlutun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mamma sag\u00f0i m\u00e9r sannleikann um uppruna minn kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0 sem \u00e9g flutti \u00fat. \u00c9g var a\u00f0 n\u00e1 \u00ed s\u00ed\u00f0asta sm\u00e1d\u00f3ti\u00f0 til \u00feeirra og Nonni a\u00f0 s\u00e6kja pitsu handa okkur \u00e1\u00f0ur en \u00e9g f\u00e6ri \u00ed n\u00fdju \u00edb\u00fa\u00f0ina a\u00f0 koma m\u00e9r fyrir. Mamma ba\u00f0 mig a\u00f0 setjast \u00ed s\u00f3fann \u00fev\u00ed h\u00fan \u00feyrfti a\u00f0 segja m\u00e9r svol\u00edti\u00f0. Svo gekk h\u00fan um g\u00f3lf \u00ed sm\u00e1stund \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00e9g bei\u00f0 eftir a\u00f0 h\u00fan k\u00e6mi s\u00e9r a\u00f0 efninu. Loks t\u00f3k h\u00fan myndina af f\u00f6\u00f0ur m\u00ednum af skenknum og \u00e9g h\u00e9lt a\u00f0 h\u00fan \u00e6tla\u00f0i a\u00f0 gefa m\u00e9r hana \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g var a\u00f0 flytja a\u00f0 heiman. \u00cd sta\u00f0inn stillti h\u00fan s\u00e9r upp fyrir framan mig og l\u00e9t myndina sn\u00faa a\u00f0 m\u00e9r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deessi ma\u00f0ur er ekkert skyldur \u00fe\u00e9r, sag\u00f0i h\u00fan. \u00c9g keypti \u00feessa mynd \u00e1 nytjamarka\u00f0i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Svo r\u00e9tti h\u00fan m\u00e9r rammann. Og einhverra hluta vegna virti \u00e9g ekki myndina fyrir m\u00e9r heldur rammann sj\u00e1lfan, hann var gylltur og gamaldags \u00e1 einhvern h\u00e1tt sem \u00e9g \u00e1tta\u00f0i mig ekki alveg \u00e1. \u00dea\u00f0 rann upp fyrir m\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00feetta var ekki Ikea-rammi eins og allir hinir \u00e1 skenknum. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i ekki teki\u00f0 eftir \u00fev\u00ed fyrr.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eftir sm\u00e1stund sag\u00f0i h\u00fan a\u00f0 sannleikurinn v\u00e6ri s\u00e1 a\u00f0 h\u00fan vissi ekki hva\u00f0 l\u00edffr\u00e6\u00f0ilegur fa\u00f0ir minn h\u00e9ti n\u00e9 hvar hann v\u00e6ri ni\u00f0urkominn, hvort hann v\u00e6ri l\u00edfs e\u00f0a li\u00f0inn. H\u00fan haf\u00f0i veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 vinna sem \u00fej\u00f3nn me\u00f0 n\u00e1mi \u00e1\u00f0ur en h\u00fan \u00e1tti mig. \u00cd eitt sinn var h\u00fan fengin til a\u00f0 \u00fej\u00f3na \u00ed bo\u00f0i heima hj\u00e1 einhverjum \u00feingmanni sem haf\u00f0i bo\u00f0i\u00f0 danskri dipl\u00f3matasendinefnd heim til s\u00edn \u00ed kokteil. Einn af gestunum haf\u00f0i veri\u00f0 frekar ungur og myndarlegur, \u00feau h\u00f6f\u00f0u gefi\u00f0 hvort \u00f6\u00f0ru auga \u00e1 me\u00f0an h\u00fan \u00fej\u00f3na\u00f0i. Og \u00feannig haf\u00f0i \u00e9g komi\u00f0 undir, alveg \u00f3vart, \u00e1 kyrru sumarkv\u00f6ldi \u00ed gar\u00f0i \u00e1 bak vi\u00f0 eitthva\u00f0 einb\u00fdlish\u00fas \u00e1 Seltjarnarnesi. Mamma haf\u00f0i veri\u00f0 svo hissa og sjokkeru\u00f0 \u00feegar hann elti hana \u00fat \u00feegar h\u00fan var a\u00f0 n\u00e1 \u00ed fleiri drykki a\u00f0 h\u00fan haf\u00f0i ekki einu sinni spurt hann a\u00f0 nafni. \u00c1 eftir haf\u00f0i h\u00fan teki\u00f0 eftir giftingarhringnum. H\u00fan vissi ekki hver hann var n\u00e9 hva\u00f0 hann h\u00e9t og \u00feegar h\u00fan uppg\u00f6tva\u00f0i a\u00f0 h\u00fan v\u00e6ri \u00f3l\u00e9tt haf\u00f0i h\u00fan ekki reynt a\u00f0 komast a\u00f0 neinu um hann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H\u00fan stama\u00f0i og tafsa\u00f0i \u00e1 me\u00f0an h\u00fan sag\u00f0i m\u00e9r \u00feetta, eins og h\u00fan v\u00e6ri b\u00fain undir a\u00f0 \u00e9g fengi \u00e1fall yfir \u00feessum \u00f3r\u00e6\u00f0a uppruna m\u00ednum. Svo l\u00e9t h\u00fan fallast ni\u00f0ur \u00ed annan h\u00e6gindast\u00f3linn \u00ed stofunni og horf\u00f0i \u00fat \u00ed lofti\u00f0. H\u00fan virtist \u00farvinda en \u00fea\u00f0 var ekkert n\u00fdtt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viltu vita eitthva\u00f0 meira? spur\u00f0i h\u00fan eftir sm\u00e1stund.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nei nei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cd \u00f6ll \u00feessi \u00e1r haf\u00f0i \u00e9g stara\u00f0 \u00e1 myndina en ekki fundi\u00f0 til neinnar tengingar vi\u00f0 manninn \u00e1 henni. \u00deegar \u00e9g var l\u00edtil haf\u00f0i mamma tala\u00f0 um a\u00f0 fa\u00f0ir minn elska\u00f0i mig og fylgdist \u00f6rugglega me\u00f0 m\u00e9r a\u00f0 handan. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i upplifa\u00f0 hann eins og fjarl\u00e6gan, alsj\u00e1andi gu\u00f0 og fundist \u00fea\u00f0 \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gilegt. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i aldrei haft neinar tilfinningar til hans, a\u00f0eins fundi\u00f0 fyrir samviskubiti yfir tilfinningaskortinum. \u00c1 unglings\u00e1runum haf\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 breyst t\u00edmabundi\u00f0 og \u00fe\u00e1 haf\u00f0i \u00e9g oft veri\u00f0 \u00f6skurei\u00f0 \u00fat \u00ed hann en rei\u00f0in haf\u00f0i alltaf gufa\u00f0 upp \u00feegar \u00e9g horf\u00f0i \u00e1 \u00feessa mynd \u00e1 skenknum, af alsaklausum manninum. Fyrsta tilfinningin \u00feegar mamma sag\u00f0i m\u00e9r \u00feetta var \u00fev\u00ed l\u00e9ttir, g\u00edfurlegur l\u00e9ttir. M\u00e9r fannst \u00e9g f\u00e1 sta\u00f0festingu \u00e1 einhverju sem mig haf\u00f0i alltaf gruna\u00f0, e\u00f0a jafnvel vita\u00f0 innst inni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2042<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Valur er n\u00fdfarinn \u00fat me\u00f0 eldri str\u00e1kana tvo en s\u00e1 yngsti er \u00ed l\u00far \u00feegar \u00e9g tek d\u00fakkuna fram enn einu sinni. \u00c9g \u00e6tla a\u00f0 tro\u00f0a henni ofan \u00ed svartan ruslapoka og setja ofan \u00ed kassa me\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0ru d\u00f3ti sem \u00e1 a\u00f0 fara \u00ed G\u00f3\u00f0a hir\u00f0inn. En \u00feegar \u00e9g tek hana ni\u00f0ur \u00far efri sk\u00e1pnum \u00ed svefnherberginu kemur einhver tregi yfir mig og \u00e9g fa\u00f0ma hana \u00e1 n\u00fd, loka augunum og reyni a\u00f0 finna fyrir einhverju. Einhverri \u00e1st e\u00f0a hl\u00fdju. En ekkert gerist, hugurinn reikar bara aftur \u00ed t\u00edmann, minningarnar fl\u00e6\u00f0a, og sama hva\u00f0 \u00e9g reyni \u00fe\u00e1 finn \u00e9g a\u00f0 \u00feetta er bara d\u00fakka.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u00f3n Bja\u00fetu vakna\u00f0uh, segir mj\u00f3r\u00f3ma r\u00f6dd og \u00e9g opna augun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yngsti sonur minn stendur \u00ed dyrunum me\u00f0 snu\u00f0i\u00f0 \u00ed munninum. Hann hefur a\u00f0eins sofi\u00f0 \u00ed tuttugu m\u00edn\u00fatur enda kominn \u00e1 \u00feri\u00f0ja \u00e1r og n\u00e6stum alveg h\u00e6ttur a\u00f0 leggja sig \u00e1 daginn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u00e1 \u00e9g \u00fej\u00e1? spyr hann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or\u00f0alaust legg \u00e9g d\u00fakkuna \u00e1 r\u00fami\u00f0, hann kemur n\u00e6r, tekur \u00fat \u00far s\u00e9r snu\u00f0i\u00f0 og leggur vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0 hennar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V\u00e1 mamma, h\u00fan er \u00fevo \u00fe\u00e6t, segir hann v\u00e6minni r\u00f6ddu. H\u00fan er \u00f0osalega \u00fe\u00e6t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Svo bi\u00f0ur hann ekki um leyfi heldur tekur d\u00fakkuna varlega upp, fa\u00f0mar hana a\u00f0 s\u00e9r og kyssir \u00e1 henni kollinn. \u00c9g get varla l\u00fdst tilfinningunni sem fer um mig, g\u00e6sah\u00fa\u00f0, yfir\u00feyrmandi s\u00e6lu og sorg \u00ed einni svipan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00dej\u00e1\u00f0u mamma, \u00fej\u00e1\u00f0u hana, hv\u00edslar hann og leggur hana ofurvarlega aftur \u00e1 r\u00fami\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u00e1 \u00e9g s\u00e9, segi \u00e9g l\u00e1gt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cd augnablik st\u00f6ndum vi\u00f0 saman \u00ed \u00fe\u00f6gn og horfum \u00e1 d\u00fakkuna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hve \u00e1 hana? spyr hann svo og l\u00edtur upp til m\u00edn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g s\u00e9 \u00fer\u00e1na \u00ed augunum \u00e1 honum og bl\u00ed\u00f0una, finnst m\u00e9r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00de\u00fa, segi \u00e9g. \u00de\u00fa m\u00e1tt eiga hana.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u00e9r finnst \u00e9g sj\u00e1 gle\u00f0ina hellast yfir hann. Hann tekur hana aftur \u00ed fangi\u00f0 og brosir breitt. Svo vaggar hann henni, leggur hana \u00e1 \u00f6xlina og l\u00edtur upp til m\u00edn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vi\u00f0ar og \u00detef\u00e1n m\u00e1 ekki kakana, segir hann.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00deeir eiga l\u00edka d\u00fakkur, segi \u00e9g, \u00feeir elska l\u00edka d\u00fakkurnar s\u00ednar, l\u00fdg \u00e9g. \u00deeir taka hana ekki af \u00fe\u00e9r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g \u00e6tla a\u00f0 grafa d\u00fakkurnar \u00feeirra upp \u00far k\u00f6ssunum undir r\u00famunum \u00feeirra og minna \u00fe\u00e1 \u00e1 \u00fe\u00e6r. \u00deeir h\u00f6f\u00f0u sofi\u00f0 me\u00f0 litlu d\u00fakkustr\u00e1kana s\u00edna fyrstu n\u00e6turnar eftir a\u00f0 \u00feeir fengu \u00fe\u00e1 \u00ed j\u00f3lagj\u00f6f en svo misst \u00e1hugann og \u00feess vegna h\u00f6f\u00f0um vi\u00f0 aldrei gefi\u00f0 \u00feeim yngsta d\u00fakku.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00de\u00fa ert be\u00feta deppan, g\u00f3\u00f0 deppa, segir sonur minn vi\u00f0 d\u00fakkuna og fa\u00f0mar hana \u00fe\u00e9tt a\u00f0 s\u00e9r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aftur fl\u00e6\u00f0a tilfinningarnar um mig. Hann sn\u00fdr s\u00e9r vi\u00f0 og gengur \u00fat \u00far svefnherberginu \u00ed \u00e1ttina a\u00f0 s\u00ednu eigin herbergi. M\u00e9r fallast hendur \u00feegar \u00e9g horfi \u00e1 eftir honum me\u00f0 h\u00f6fu\u00f0 d\u00fakkunnar \u00e1 \u00f6xlinni, alveg eins og p\u00ednul\u00edtill pabbi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

El\u00edsa J\u00f3hannsd\u00f3ttir Vi\u00f0 fyrstu s\u00fdn leit h\u00fan \u00fat eins og raunverulegt barn, liggjandi \u00ed barnakerru me\u00f0 hekla\u00f0 teppi yfir s\u00e9r, d\u00fa\u00f0u\u00f0 \u00ed rau\u00f0an kuldagalla me\u00f0 lj\u00f3sbleika h\u00fafu og vettlinga. Textinn vi\u00f0 augl\u00fdsinguna t\u00f3k \u00fe\u00f3 af allan vafa, konan sem setti myndina inn var a\u00f0 \u00f3ska eftir barnaf\u00f6tum \u00e1 elsku litlu reborn d\u00fakkustelpuna s\u00edna. \u00c9g grandsko\u00f0a\u00f0i […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-883","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/883","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=883"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/883\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":904,"href":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/883\/revisions\/904"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stelkur.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}